#like solid wall to wall negativity

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Vaggie: “Charlie. You know I love you, right?”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “…before I answer, can I ask YOU a question?”

Vaggie: “Sure, babe. Fire away.”

Charlie: “Okay.”

Charlie: “Is this about the singing cannibal quartet love song turned massacre in the hotel lobby?”

Vaggie: “No.”

Charlie: “Is it about the supposedly non-man eating flowers that tried eating Angel Dust, which Niffty won’t let us get rid of now because she wants to train them to hunt cockroaches with her?”

Vaggie: “No.”

Charlie: “Is it about the alleged cookies Husk is still in bed recovering from taste testing?”

Vaggie: “Those were cookies?”

Charlie: “Allegedly. In a previous life maybe.”

Vaggie: “Huh. They weren’t bad.”

Charlie: “They- Vaggie, you didn’t actually EAT-”

Vaggie: “After wrestling Angel Dust out of the third flower in a row? I was hungry. The kitchen was on fire earlier so I knew you’d made something. And they were sitting in a common area, unclaimed and unlabeled.”

Charlie: “I put CAUTION TAPE around them!!”

Vaggie: “We don’t have anyone staying here named Caution or Hazardous Waste. Not yet, anyway.”

Charlie: “ARE YOU FEELING OKAY!?”

Vaggie: “Fine. This isn’t about the uh, ‘alleged cookies’.”

Charlie: “Well then what is it about? Am I forgetting something else?”

Vaggie: “Maybe. Are you gonna answer my question now?”

Charlie: “Of course I know you love me, Vaggie. Absolutely."

Vaggie: "Then-"

Charlie: "A dangerous amount, even- you sure you’re feeling alright? Those cookies... poor Husk…”

Vaggie: “Husk is on average 40% alcohol and not used to solid foods. This was a good learning experience for him, trust me.”

Charlie: “I do! I do I do, I just, also really hope Angel Dust knows how to BE an actual bedside nurse as well as DRESS like one. A. Sexy one.”

Vaggie: “We’ll save Husk from medical malpractice in a minute. Right now though…”

Vaggie: (smooch the tol gf)

Charlie: “?”

Vaggie: “You don’t have to do extra things like this, sweetie.”

Charlie: “Oh.”

Vaggie: “Not that I didn’t love the thought behind it.”

Charlie: “There were no thoughts. Just, wow I love my girlfriend, wow I really hope she knows I love her.”

Vaggie: “I do. You’re amazing, and doing normal hotel crisis things with you is already amazing enough.”

Charlie: (droops) “I know, I know…”

Vaggie: “So?”

Charlie: “Well that’s the THING though! We’ve only been doing hotel stuff!”

Vaggie: “It’s a pretty wide range of activities you gotta admit.”

Charlie: “Oh sure right, sooo varied- stop a murder, fight to stop a murder, try not to do a murder, replace THIS fix THAT organize another group talk and go into red alert whenever the things get suspiciously quiet- go collect the bodies, probably reassemble them, pay the bills, supervised arts and crafts and Cherri still makes a BOMB somehow-”

Vaggie: “Everyone getting together to blow it up outside was kinda sweet.”

Charlie: “And that’s great! We’re doing great, things are going good, it’s just- WE don’t do anything that’s just for US.”

Vaggie: “That what’s bothering you?”

Charlie: “Bothering me? BOTHERING ME?? Vaggie our last outing together was dragging you back up to HEAVEN where the people who left you in hell also BLAKMAILED YOU!"

Vaggie: "Could've been worse."

Charlie: "IT WAS HORRIBLE! A NEGATIVE TIME TOGTHER! I’m gonna explode- I haven’t taken you on an actual date in MONTHS!!!”

Vaggie: “So let’s go then.”

Charlie: “I know we can’t just leave the hotel, but that doesn’t stop-”

Charlie: “…”

Charlie: “Huh?”

Vaggie: “Let’s go. We can take the rest of the night off.”

Charlie: “….can we?”

Vaggie: “Sure. Niffty’s busy with her new murder plant buddies, Husk’s busy being sick, Angel Dust’s busy with Husk, and Cherri Bomb… well. If the singing cannibal duo wants to keep playing exploding volleyball with her out back then that’s their problem, not ours.”

Charlie: “It’ll be our problem REAL quick if anyone spikes the bomb at the hotel!”

Vaggie: “It’ll be just another Tuesday, another hole in the wall, and a chance for Cherri to learn about the wonders of vacuum cleaners and wall plaster.”

Charlie: “Which you won’t be able to sleep knowing about until you’ve redone the whole thing yourself.”

Vaggie: “That’s still just another Tuesday.”

Charlie: “What about Husk being sick? AND suffering under Angel Dust’s dubiously sexy medical care?”

Vaggie: “If they’re bothering each other they can’t be getting into trouble with anyone else. Win-win.”

Charlie: “Niffty is building an army.”

Vaggie: “Good for her.”

Charlie: “She might be planning on wiping out all life in the hotel???”

Vaggie: “Hell forbid the cleaning ladies do anything.”

Charlie: “Why are you suddenly so okay with mess and chaos? You HATE messes and chaos! You patrol the hotel just to check everyone’s doing what you thought they’d be doing, based on all the little schedules you keep making on them!”

Vaggie: “Which they didn’t need to hear you yelling about but sure.”

Charlie: “You refold all my laundry so the creases line up just right! Why- oh no.”

Charlie: (gasp) “Vaggie, don’t panic, but I think the evil fail cookies are affecting you-”

Vaggie: “Charlie-” (laughing) “-no, they’re not. Maybe I’m fine with a little extra mess and chaos, if it means spending time with you.”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Vaggie: “Triangle. Wanna go on a date with me?”

Charlie: “YE- wait, you’re sure though?”

Vaggie: “I’m sure.”

Charlie: “Really sure?”

Vaggie: “Very.”

Charlie: “It’s not a fun date if it makes you super stressed afterwards.”

Vaggie: “I’m always stressed. It’d be nice if I could at least get some uninterrupted ‘stare at my beautiful girlfriend’ time while I’m at it.”

Charlie: “The hotel’s gonna be in RUINS when we get back. Our friends might be on fire by then.”

Vaggie: “C’mon, they’re not our kids. They’re all responsible adults….”

Chaggie: “…..”

Vaggie: “….they’re all adults…”

Charlie: “Who we’re kinda responsible for…?”

Vaggie: “Not for tonight.”

Charlie: (sighing) “That WOULD be nice.”

Vaggie: “So let’s make it happen. Date night?”

Charlie: “-ES YES YES YES YES-”

Vaggie: “That a yes?”

Charlie: “YES!!! I- Hold on, wait wait, I’ve got-”

Charlie: (pulls out several papers covered in writing and diagrams)

Charlie: “…I’ve got, let’s see here-”

Vaggie: “Notes?”

Charlie: “-seven quick pick up date ideas that don’t need ANY preparation-”

Vaggie: “You made plans for dates you didn’t even think we’d go on?”

Charlie: “Well it never hurts to dream about something, right? That way you get to have fun either way, and you’ll be ready if it does happen!”

Vaggie: “I love you.”

Charlie: (grinning) “You love that you’ve infected me with note cards and organizing thoughts and things~”

Vaggie: “That too.”

Charlie: “Well according to my wonderful notes, the least stressful date option is…. Cannibal Town!”

Vaggie: “They have that dress code don’t they.”

Charlie: “Unless you wanna get your cute butt chased for all the wrong reasons, yep! They do!”

Vaggie: “Is this you wanting to see me in a fancy-ass dress?”

Charlie: “And to stroll down the nicely kept streets arm-in-arm with you, enjoyed the quiet atmosphere not filled with random agonized screams, stopping to admire the beautiful and very well composted flower beds…”

Vaggie: “I’d stroll with you anywhere, so count me in.”

Charlie: “YES! Oh I already LOVE THIS- and Vaggie?”

Vaggie: “Yeah?”

Charlie: “I love you too.”

Vaggie: “Wow really. Had no idea.”

Charlie: “Heheh.”

Vaggie: “Honestly there’ve been like, zero hints about that all day.”

Charlie: “I promise I really was trying to be subtle.”

Vaggie: “There’s a lot of words for you, but subtle’s probably not one of them.”

Charlie: “I tried. I tried for youuuuuuu~ For the sake of my girlfriend, I was willing to go against my baser and more dramatic nature!”

Vaggie: “What’s more dramatic than man eating flowers, that’s what I’d like to know.”

Charlie: “A garden.”

Vaggie: “A g- a whole garden?”

Charlie: (shrug) “We’ve got plenty of empty rooms…”

Vaggie: “A garden, sweetie.”

Charlie: “I was thinking of putting a lot of trees and bushes in. Lots of stuff to hide behind.”

Vaggie: “Our own little patch of private picnic paradise, huh?”

Charlie: “Hm-hmm! Or for makeouts. Or both?”

Vaggie: (chuckling) “Not to spoil the mood but… speaking of plants and compost, on our date, should we bring the other half of the cannibal quartet over to Rosie’s while we’re headed there? Or, what’s left of them?”

Charlie: “Mmmmm NAAAH. I wanna have all hands free on the way over.”

Vaggie: “Hands free for what?”

Charlie: “Nothing~”

Vaggie: “Your hands are already on my ass, Charlie.”

Charlie: “Oh whoops!”

Vaggie: “I didn’t say you could move them.”

Charlie: “That’s why I’m not~”

Vaggie: “You’re in a mood tonight, aren’t you.” (muttering) “I’m not even the one off playing with carnivorous plants, so why's it suddenly feel like I’m in danger...”

Charlie: “Beecaaaause you look dangerously cute in a fancy dress.”

Vaggie: “Says the woman walking around in THAT suit.”

Charlie: “I have to dress sharp! I need to match with my girlfriend!”

Vaggie: “You’ve been wearing that exact same kind of suit since long before you even met me.”

Charlie: “Only through YEARS of unfulfilled potential!”

Vaggie: “Uh huh.”

Charlie: “Tragic, wasted beauty!”

Vaggie: “Hardly wasted with you in it.”

Charlie: “But it was! A jacket crying out for the one woman who’ll finally borrow and wear it the way it was always meant to be worn!”

Vaggie: “With the sleeves falling over my hands?”

Charlie: “With that adorable little blush when you snuggle down into it… Also, the way it falls to almost mid-thigh on you, and how you like wearing it with nothing el-”

Vaggie: “Is this a date night or a do not disturb night?”

Charlie: “Date night!”

Vaggie: “Then stop biting your lip at me.”

Charlie: “Aww.”

Vaggie: “And come help me pick out a fancy dress.”

Charlie: “!!! THE ONE FROM THE COMMERCIAL MAYBE???”

Vaggie: “Oh you liked that look, huh?” (snickering) “Aw babe- is THAT why you stay up replaying the commercial some nights?”

Charlie: “That’s… public image analysis…”

Vaggie: “Whatever you say. Now you now know how I feel every day.”

Charlie: (muttering) “lucky you.”

Vaggie: “You wanna switch things up for the date, or keep the suit?”

Charlie: “Keep, probably..? You like me in the suit~”

Vaggie: “I like you in a lot of things.”

Charlie: “R-right.”

Vaggie: “And nothing.”

Charlie: “I- same.” (horns start popping out) “Um.” (pushes them back in) “Could we also. Wear matching hats?”

Vaggie: “Of course we’re wearing matching hats. This is supposed to be a fancy date right?”

Charlie: “Very. Very fancy.”

Vaggie: “Well nothing’s fancier than hats."

Charlie: "WHEEE! With flowers on them, yeah!?"

Vaggie: "Have I ever let you down?”

Charlie: “Never.”

Vaggie: “And do you promise not to bring me anymore demonic flowers or singing quartets?”

Charlie: “… I’ll do my best.”

Vaggie: “Perfect.”

Vaggie: “…”

Vaggie: “I wouldn’t say no to a few more of those cookies though-”

Charlie: “NO.”

Vaggie: “Sweetie, they were good.”

Charlie: “No. Absolutely no, I am NOT poisoning you on purpose. Not even if you ask me nicely and pout about it like that.”

Vaggie: “You deny the cookies?”

Charlie: “Don’t even start-”

Vaggie: “Girlfriend abuse. Toxic relationship alert.”

Charlie: “Those 'cookies' were the MOST TOXIC THING that our relationship has EVER seen!”

Vaggie: “They were made with love.”

Charlie: “And likely heavy metals? The fact that you willingly ate them is maybe the most WORRYING thing our relationship has ever seen…”

Vaggie: “Cough exorcist lie cough cough.”

Charlie: “Totally different. That didn’t put you in active danger-”

Niffty: “SPEAKING OF DANGER!”

Chaggie: (screaming)

Niffty: “My murder plant babies are in danger.”

Vaggie: “HOW can- how can those things BE in danger?”

Charlie: “NIFFTY PLEASE! The knocking?? The not dropping from air vents???”

Niffty: “Only in emergencies, I remember! This is an emergency. Husk is feeding himself to my murder plan babies.”

Vaggie: “Why.”

Niffty: “Escaping nurse Angel Dust and unnecessary CPR.”

Charlie: “Oh for-”

Vaggie: “Let him. They won’t kill him. Permanently, anyway.”

Charlie: “…. Hm.”

Niffty: “What if my murder babies get food poisoning from second hand bad cookies?”

Vaggie: “Seek revenge for them or something?”

Niffty: “OoooOOOH!”

Niffty: (scuttles away cackling)

Charlie: “Oh noooo, you’ve given her an idea-”

Vaggie: “Too late to stop her now. C’mon.” (grabbing charlie’s hand) “Make a break for our room before anyone else-”

Cherri Bomb: “Hey girls! Uh, you were planning on making a pit for a hotel swimming pool, right? Like, one already kinda full of blood? Right out back? Right???”

Chaggie: “….”

Charlie: “… Hello~! Charlie and Vaggie can’t be reached at the moment!”

Vaggie: “We’ll be out all night.”

Cherri Bomb: “And the pool of blood-?”

Charlie: “So please leave a message at the sound of the beep!”

Vaggie: “Beeeeep.” (at charlie) “Run.”  

Charlie: (scooping up vaggie) “My legs are longer-”

Vaggie: “Brilliant thinking sweetie now GO GO GO!!!”

Chaggie: (flees)

Cherri Bomb: “…..”

Cherri Bomb: “They take the u-haul thing seriously, huh.”

-their room-

Charlie: “….Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “Yeah?”

Charlie: “Stop it.”

Vaggie: “Stop what?”

Charlie: “Vaggie.”

Vaggie: “Mmm?”

Charlie: “…..”

Charlie: “…..fine, FINE!” (groaning) “I’ll see about salvaging the burnt remains of the evil cursed cookie recipe when we get back. Now will you PLEASE stop messing with your flawless hair and put the dress on? Or anything!? Anything being put on would be good now too!”

Vaggie: (smiling) “No idea what you mean babe, but alright.” (quietly to herself) “Mission success.”

Charlie: “I heard that.”

-exiting hotel-

Vaggie: “Almost there.”

Charlie: “Oh please my dad who’s probably in a pile of duckies, please just let us make it out the d-”

(horrific screaming from deeper inside hotel)

Charlie: “…..”

Vaggie: “….”

Charlie: “We didn’t hear that.”

Vaggie: “We kinda already did, sweetie.”

Charlie: “No.” (pouting) “No. We can hear it when we get back.”

Vaggie: “Fine by me.”

Charlie: (SIGHING) “Even though we’re gonna hear allllll about not hearing it when we get back...”

Vaggie: “Worth it.”

Charlie: (grinning) “Think so?”

Vaggie: “Do you?”

Charlie: (already tugging them out the door by their entwined hands) “More than worth it.” (lifts and twirls vaggie down the hotel steps) “Whooosh!”

Vaggie: “Oh is THIS why you really wanted me in a fancy dress? For the ‘whoosh’?”

Charlie: “That, and for the way you smile when I whoosh you~”

[vermilionstarlight]

Made because I'm bored on the shitter. No shapeshifting because I know this website and I know my sphere of influence and it'll automatically sweep.

A statistically significant portion of you are transgender / therian / queer / autistic / otherkin weirdo freaks (affectionate) (loving) (I fit almost all of these descriptors wholly or partially)

OVERLY DETAILED ELABORATION BELOW THE CUT:

1. Flying - Top speed of Mach 1. You're immune to the negative effects of G force on your body, low pressure environments, low oxygen, low temperatures, and damage from air resistance.

2. Amphibious - Your swimming is not enhanced (you must learn to swim, same as anyone). Any water inhaled is magically turned into breathable air as it passes through your mouth or nose. You are immune to pressures up to and exceeding that of the Marianas trench, low deep-sea temperatures, and the bends. Wildlife that would otherwise be aggressive or dangerous will simply ignore you, and venom from aquatic or semi-aquatic creatures will not affect you. Basically, you're safe from hazards unless you explicitly attack something.

3. Teleport - You have the ability to place the portals (similar to those from the popular video game Portal) at your choosing, and they can be placed at any point in space that you can see. It can be any 2D shape, so long as it fits within the area of a five m^2 square. You can 'bind' the portal to an object (car, wall, article of clothing, yourself), or you can simply have it freestanding in the air and be stationary relative to the Earth's surface. You can only place two pairs of portals at a time. If you attempt to place a new pair, you must choose an existing pair to remove. If you close or remove a portal while something is passing through it, it shears that thing perfectly in two. You can't open a portal in a position or orientation that would have it intwrsect with a solid object, only liquids, gases, or plasma.

4. Time Loop - You can start a time loop of indefinite length at any time. It resets whenever you wish, or when you die, whichever comes first. You can end the current loop at any time, or begin a new loop with a new start point and reset interval/reset condition at any time. You can only have one 'start point' at any given time.

5. Telepathy - At any time, you can think of a specific person and project a thought, concept, emotion, or sensory experience into their mind. Once you do this, it establishes a connection that the recipient can use to transmit in the same fashion. You can create telepathic "group chats" between people, with a maximum of 10 participants (including you). Any participant can exit the connection at any time.

6. Inventory - When you're touching an object, you can will it into an extra-dimensional space. There are no weight or size limits. You can store singular discrete objects, containers and their contents, and "piles" of objects (like a mound of dirt). You cannot store living organisms, meaning any object put into your storage is 100% sterilized. Non-living organic matter (vegetable matter, meat, bone, dead bacteria) can still be stored. You can mentally access this space at any time, and can get a complete mental inventory of everything stored inside it at any time. Time doesn't pass for anything stored in this space, and qualities like arrangement and temperature are preserved. Whenever you wish, you can retrieve an object from the space, and it appears as it was when you stored it, and in any orientation you wish, so long as it's touching you as it comes out (e.g. it comes out of the space in your palm, at your fingertip, on top of your head, touching your ankle, etc.). If you attempt to retrieve an object in an orientation that would make it intersect with anything solid, the retrieval attempt fails.

7. Invisibility - You can, at any time, choose to switch between being visible and being invisible. This does not affect the way light interacts with you, but instead makes it so that anyone perceiving you will contextualize you as not being there, and never having been there recently. The fact that you are walking around, talking, and interacting with the world around them does not change that you are not there to them. Light still reflects off of you and hits their eyes, but they will simply be unaware of the fact that someone walked into the gas station two minutes ago and is standing in front of them right now. Because the you are not there at that moment, most suspicious activities do not register to anyone perceiving you, because you aren't present to them at that moment, and people that are not present aren't able to do things.

8. Healing - When you touch an organism, you are able to heal it of any given perceived malady, affliction, or harmful effect. This relies on the perception of the one receiving the healing, not on the perception of you, the healer. Cancer, aging, alzheimer's, even relatively "minor" afflictions like male pattern baldness or a mild tendency towards pimples. There's no specific limit, so long as the receiver perceives it to be bad or harmful. This also can heal congenital disorders. Specific afflictions can be targeted, so a "full heal" isn't always necessary. If you want to heal someone of a spinal disorder, but they were also raised Catholic and perceive their sexual desires to be inherently harmful and sinful and in need of removal, you as the healer can choose to only heal the former and not the latter, if you are uncomfortable with that. If somebody wishes to have their hearing damage healed, but they are also a paraplegic and consider that to be an important part of their person-hood that shouldn't be changed, it's possible to target specifically the hearing damage and not the paralysis. This ability is also able to affect mental afflictions, chemical imbalances, and the like. This will change the receiver's mind to be in line with whatever they consider to be "healthy," relative to their perceived affliction. It is not possible to apply healing without the desire of the receiver. Verbal consent is not required, only conscious desire for the affliction to be remedied. It's supernatural bullshit, so there's no gray areas. If they would have said yes to an explicit question of consent, you're able to do it even without verbal consent. If they would have said no, then you aren't able. This is specifically to allow emergency life-saving healing, in the case of someone being unable to explicitly verbally consent. Morally dubious, but generally very helpful. Also, so long as you and nobody you care about are killed instantly (or killed too far away for you to heal in time), you and everyone you care about is immortal for as long as any individual desires.

9. Mind-Reading - You are able to non-consensually probe the mind of anyone you can directly see (television screens do not count, there must be direct sight-line between you and the target). You can see any memories they have, though the clarity and veracity of these memories is context-dependent. You can glean their immediate surface thoughts, and you can perceive through their subjective experience. You aren't immediately made aware of their deepest most subconscious desires, but you can analyze and infer from their thoughts and memories to deduce such things. Unless you're skilled in self-reflection and psychology, it won't be easy to immediately understand their entire person-hood. This may be morally dubious at best, but it can be useful for vigilantism and the like, depending on your moral allowance for such things.

10. Skill Retention - Your brain just works better when it comes to getting better at mundane skills. You are not supernaturally more capable than a normal human, you are just able to rapidly get better at things within normal human limits. Skills come easier to you, and not just things like "playing the piano" or "throwing objects" or something. You also find it easier to improve with critical thinking skills, emotional awareness, general kinesthetic coordination, and other such things. Additionally, you retain these skills far better than a normal person can. You don't easily "get rusty" with any sort of skill unless you go entirely unpracticed for decades. You can learn how to perform advanced acrobatics, go unpracticed for 15 years, then pick it back up at almost the exact same level of technical skill. Some tasks require more than just skill and mental capacity, like sports, and you're granted no special ability to get more physically capable. However, this ability does make it significantly easier to learn how to keep yourself disciplined and stick to a routine, allowing you to become more physically capable anyways. You are the most average superhero ever.

11. Clairsentience - You are able to create a supernatural, intangible "camera" whenever you like. You can perceive sounds and sights through this camera, even if you are physically deaf or blind. Your brain functioning is changed so you're able to adequately process two simultaneous sets of sensory input without biologically blue-screening. You can move the camera around as you please, with no range limit, and it's able to move at speeds up to 0.99c (99% of light speed). You can spy on anything, anywhere, whenever you want. Spy on billionaires, spy on political backroom deals, spy on your asshole neighbor to steal their Dropout password.

12. Animal Speech - You can intuitively communicate with and understand any and all animals. Animals that are solitary and lack much social capacity like tigers, polar bears, and some shark species will mostly make for boring and/or antagonistic conversation, though they'll still be able to transmit and receive basic emotions and concepts (territory, fear, food, bright, dark, baby, sex). More social animals, like many canines and felines, will be far better conversation. They still don't have the complex language capacity of a human, but they'll be more amiable even if they aren't generally able to handle more complex concepts. Very intelligent and social animals like crows, orcas, or elephants will likely be mostly comparable to a full human person in terms of conversation, if not functionally the same. They have generally better language capacity than many other animals, and complex social intelligence.

[diejager]

Hello!! Can I request about monster task force 141 + könig & horangi, if thats alright for you!

Where reader is a pyramid head instead and I like to see their reaction reader having a pyramid head c:

EXCUSE ME!? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THIS ASK?!???!? Cuz if you are, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I am still breathing! I might be kneeling for this concept, but I am still breathing.

Pyramid Head!reader

Headcanon

Pairing: Monster 141 + König + Horangi x male?reader

Cw: blood, gore, canon-typical violence, gun violence, betrayal, tell me if I missed any. Wc: 2k

You looked like you came right out of a horror game, a tall, muscular figure hidden under black and dark brown fatigues, thick thighs supporting the big, rusted pyramid that hung from your head and stocky arms that could bend a man in half as easily as it was to rip paper in two. Despite being slow and stumbling around, you were an entity to bring on high-stakes missions, letting you break through their defences with a heavy hand and even heavier attacks, crashing through walls and stalking the walls for your next victim.

They were all shocked when Price talked them into accepting you,  gathering them into the debrief room with your file, or your lack of one. It wasn’t easy, having you permanently transferred to their Task Force when you were so sought out by other teams for help as a long-standing mercenary and an entity. So Price was overjoyed that  Laswell had managed to get you to themselves, waiting for you at the tarmac on the day you were to land. 

Mixed feelings were being shared between his team when they watched you amble down the slope, head hung lowly, the tip inches from the ground. You were intimidating in person, seeming much bigger than life, finally being able to see you rather than hear of you, the haunting reputation that followed you around like a shadow. You weren’t a Ghost, someone reputed for having no living record and past, or his intimidating presence; nor were you a scary mercenary from KorTac, dangerous and imposing. You weren’t an efficient and fast-moving unit like the 141, you were just a one-man army powerful enough to rip a man in two and wield that heavy Greatsword, and despite it being a bit old-fashioned, you used better than man could use a rifle. 

Price, as first mentioned, was glad his hard work came to fruition, having someone like you on his side when it mattered was amazing. He might’ve been slightly worried about his boys reacting negatively towards you, Ghost, especially with his volatile hate and distrust of strangers. Only to be reassured when he saw how, unlike the way you carried yourself on the field, you were a gentle soul, a silent one but caring nonetheless. He watched you take care of his boys, wandering behind Gaz or Rudy when they returned injured, a looming figure that cast a protective shadow over them. You were like a pillar, solid and dependable, going out of your way to get anyone that strayed behind, turning your head at a slight angle to stop a bullet from hitting the one you were protecting, and caring for them. He may not be able to hear you speak a word, to be able to hold a conversation and listen to you tell them how much you cared about him and the others, but he knew you loved - he knew you were able to love. 

Ghost was distrustful of you, one with a shadow as big as yours or someone he’d worked alongside before. He kept you at an arm’s length, never too close to him so he could protect himself from another betrayal, the hurt and the sadness that came along with being betrayed by someone he trusted, and never too far so that he could watch you, analyse every thought or act you made, to stop you from hurting them before you could. He’s seen you in the field and worked on the same side, he knew that every little detail about you on the reports was true, not illusions and delusions, but factual events that happened with you beside them. He won’t lie, you were an asset - he hated using that word on any hybrid, monster or entity, but it was the truth - that people vied for and they were just lucky that you had their back and they had your undying loyalty. Your occasional sparring with him, Price and König only reinforced your care for them, holding back until he barked at you to fully come at him, you’d hesitate, but never for long. You cared for him as he cared for the others, he could see it, and now, his care was extended to you as well.

Soap was like an excited puppy meeting a new friend, past the intimidating facade and the trailing shadow behind you, you were nice. You reminded him of Ghost and König, the tall, imposing and silent figure, but unlike them, you only replied in grunts and groans, your body language being the biggest way for them to understand you. You were patient with him, bearing with his overenthusiastic tail that kept tapping your thigh and arm whenever or his rambling, your large pyramid nodding slowly, humming when you agreed with him and grunting when you disagreed. You were fun to be around, when he, Rudy and Gaz went around, bringing you along with him to play a little game, you wouldn’t snitch and you wouldn’t say a word, only shaking your head when Price or Ghost asked if they were behind it (the Captain and Lieutenant went along, seeing as they could enjoy themselves after a hard and stressful mission). He could be as shamelessly chaotic as he wanted with you, he didn’t have to entertain the egos of others or maintain a certain level of dignity, he could be himself like he could with the others. He didn’t feel like a burden beside your lengthy shadow, he felt like he was protected, and safe, but most importantly, he felt loved.

Gaz was tentative, not overly enthusiastic as Soap nor as suspicious as Ghost, he was a good mix of them both, guarded but welcoming. He didn’t mind sitting next to you and being the one to start the conversation since you always replied in hums and groans, hands moving to form the words that you couldn’t form under the pyramid. He only truly became comfortable when you went to the trouble of going back for him, stomping through the group that surrounded him when he crashed down, watching you rip the enemy apart with your swinging Greatsword that was too heavy for anyone to lift was breathtaking. Despite witnessing a scene right out of a slasher movie, his teammate in a rusted, pyramid head soaked in blood and guts, you gave him a hand and took his hand with the gentlest squeeze he ever felt. Then the little stunt you helped cover when he, Soap and Rudy were caught doing a prank on one of their leading commanders. He could depend on you, practising sign language to better understand you and simply wanting to hold the hands that saved him.

Alejandro, as usual, was easy to get along with, his charismatic and warm mannerism was easier to open up to. He might’ve been betrayed and lied to many times, but he knew a liar when he saw one after the whole Shepherd fiasco, so he knew you meant well (not that he could see your face for any indications). Unlike others of his rank, he preferred the respect given through comradery over respect through rank, he kept close to the people he worked with in the long run, forming bonds to cherish like he did with the Los Vaqueros and the men of 141. Withholding the same idea, he worked his way through your file and approached you with someone who’d won his respect and admiration from the black Ops you participated in and the people you bled to save. It was a quality he liked about you. While still being professional, he held you, he encouraged you, he embraced you just the way you were, and you reciprocated it without a second thought. 

Rudy had his reservations about you, something strong, something big, something powerful, something caring, but never something deadly, dangerous or selfish. From what Alejandro told him, he couldn’t bring himself to be doubtful of your loyalty and devotion, and from what he’s seen on the field, you weren’t deserving of the reputation of a bloodthirsty monster that followed you as it did Ghost and König. You had something that made you stand out, maybe it was the contrast in your character when you looked so menacing: your softness, the gentle edge in your actions, the comforting quality in your muted response, and your active protection on and off the field. He appreciated the way you brought more to the Task Force, another pillar of stability, another ear to rant to, another person to hold, or another friend to laugh with. Even the little pranks he’d join in on, getting his commanding officers red with rage and breathless from laughing and leaving you to cover for them, your hands speaking the words you couldn’t mutter outside of simple sounds. He often ended up in the same predicament when he couldn’t stop himself, cheeks rosy and warm, heart beating fast, fingers fumbling with each other and words coming out in breathless puffs, he knew what he felt and he wasn’t so bothered by it.

Horangi wasn’t sure what to make of you, you weren’t quite human, nor were you a monster, you were a mix of both, a creation of human and monster grief and pain. Little was known about entities and Eldritch beings, and being a feline monster made him naturally curious, or slightly curious. He observed you, watching you from afar without actually interacting with you, slinking around you, golden eyes narrowing at you like a tiger in a hunt. He didn’t dare approach you until he got to know your small cues, the danger you could pose - if you could pose any from what he saw, too gentle for the creature you were - to him or the others. He only stepped forward to talk to you when König made him, feel skittish and slightly awkward for feeling like such a stranger towards someone who took multiple bullets for him when he was down. He held his head high and voice stable while he pushed through his awkwardness, listening to your soft hums and low grunts in reply to his words, he was surprised to see König so engaged in this conversation when he had an aversion towards new people. Honestly, he was just surprised that König talked so much about you. If there was anything good, he would be the first to hear about it from König. He came to know you through König and the time you spent together on missions, hostage rescue and noisy infiltrations. Your small ticks, your little quirks and your verbal handicap were all things he came to learn and like, nearly making it his duty to watch you from the side as you stumble through the halls with your back hunched over from the weight of your pyramid.

König didn’t try approaching you until he absolutely had to, or if he needed you. Be it to give you an order, to ask you something, or during Ops, it would only be a few words here and there, never something long-drawn as he had with the other men or Laswell. It was only after being sent on a quick and easy task that he let you in, letting you calm him down after his unpredictable shift and grounding him, taking back control of his erratic mind after a rough shift of mindset, from a primal and instinctual one to a rational and panicked one. Your rough calluses felt soft against his hard, scarred skin, the soothing circle of your thumb on his palm and the grip to keep him aware of his situation, to keep him grounded on his reality after the carnage he created. Despite not being able to talk, you spoke loudly through your verbal cues, your hand on your shoulder and another one in his hand, listening to him ramble away about his fears and anxieties. You would sit down with him and lend an ear to him when he came to you, even after his first interactions with you. He wondered if you had similar fears, those demoralising words that echoed in his mind on the worst days or the painful reminder of his mistakes. If you did, would you let him ease you down from your pain and care for you with his smaller hands?

Taglist: @craxy-person @crowbird @dead-cipher @iwannabealocalcryptid @iizx7y @mxtokko @yeetusspagheetus @capricorn-anon @perfectus-in-morte @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973

[autolenaphilia]

The main reason to use Firefox and Linux and other free and open source software is that otherwise the big tech monopolies will fuck you as the customer over in search of profits. They will seek to control how you use their products and sell your data. When a company dominates the market, things can only get worse for ordinary people.

Like take Google Chrome for example, which together with its chromium reskins dominate the web browser market. Google makes a lot of money from ads, and consequently the company hates adblockers. They already are planning to move to manifest V3, which will nerf adblockers significantly. The manifest V3 compatible chrome version of Ublock Orgin is a "Lite" version for a reason. Ublock's Github page has an entire page explaining why the addon works best in Firefox.

And Google as we speak are trying to block adblockers from working on Youtube, If you want to continue blocking Youtube ads, and since Youtube ads make the site unuseable you ought to want that, it makes the most sense to not use a browser controlled by Google.

And there is no reason to think things won't get worse. There is for example nothing stopping Google from kicking adblockers off their add-on stores completely. They do regard it as basically piracy if the youtube pop-ups tell us anything, so updating the Chrome extensions terms of service to ban adblocking is a natural step. And so many people seem to think Chrome is the only browser that exists, so they are not going to switch to alternatives, or if they do, they will switch to another chrominum-based browser.

And again, they are fucking chromium itself for adblockers with Manifest V3, so only Firefox remains as a viable alternative. It's the only alternative to letting Google control the internet.

And Microsoft is the same thing. I posted before about their plans to move Windows increasingly into the cloud. This already exists for corporate customers, as Windows 365. And a version for ordinary users is probably not far off. It might not be the only version of Windows for awhile, the lack of solid internet access for a good part of the Earth's population will prevent it. But you'll probably see cheap very low-spec chromebookesque laptops running Windows for sale soon, that gets around Windows 11's obscene system requirements by their Windows being a cloud-based version.

And more and more of Windows will require Internet access or validation for DRM reasons if nothing else. Subscription fees instead of a one-time license are also likely. It will just be Windows moving in the direction Microsoft Office has already gone.

There is nothing preventing this, because again on the desktop/laptop market Windows is effectively a monopoly, or a duopoly with Apple. So there is no competition preventing Microsoft from exercising control over Windows users in the vein of Apple.

For example, Microsoft making Windows a walled garden by only permitting programs to be installed from the Microsoft Store probably isn't far off. This already exists for Win10 and 11, it's called S-mode. There seem to be more and more laptops being sold with Windows S-mode as the default.

Now it's not the only option, and you can turn it off with some tinkering, but there is really nothing stopping Microsoft from making it the only way of using Windows. And customers will probably accept it, because again the main competition is Apple where the walled garden has been the default for decades.

Customers have already accepted all sorts of bad things from Microsoft, because again Windows is a near-monopoly, and Apple and Google are even worse. That’s why there has been no major negative reaction to how Windows has increasingly spies on its users.

Another thing is how the system requirements for Windows seem to grow almost exponentially with each edition, making still perfectly useable computers unable to run the new edition. And Windows 11 is the worst yet. Like it's hard to get the numbers of how many computers running Win10 can't upgrade to Win11, but it's probably the majority of them, at least 55% or maybe even 75%. This has the effect of Windows users abandoning still perfectly useable hardware and buying new computers, creating more e-waste.

For Windows users, the alternative Windows gives them is to buy a new computer or get another operating system, and inertia pushes them towards buying another computer to keep using Windows. This is good for Windows and the hardware manufacturers selling computers with Windows 11 pre-installed, they get to profit off people buying Windows 11 keys and new computers, while the end-users have to pay, as does the environment. It’s planned obsolescence.

And it doesn’t have to be like that. Linux distros prove that you can have a modern operating system that has far lower hardware requirements. Even the most resource taxing Linux distros, like for example Ubuntu running the Gnome desktop, have far more modest system requirements than modern Windows. And you can always install lightweight Linux Distros that often have very low system requirements. One I have used is Antix. The ballooning Windows system requirements comes across as pure bloat on Microsoft’s part.

Now neither Linux or Firefox are perfect. Free and open source software don’t have a lot of the polish that comes with the proprietary products of major corporations. And being in competition with technology monopolies does have its drawbacks. The lacking website compatibility with Firefox and game compatibility with Linux are two obvious examples.

Yet Firefox and Linux have the capacity to grow, to become better. Being open source helps. Even if Firefox falls, developers can create a fork of it. If a Linux distro is not to your taste, there is usually another one. Whereas Windows and Chrome will only get worse as they will continue to abuse their monopolistic powers over the tech market.

[wolven91]

Inventors

When humanity joined the rest of the races amongst the stars, it was a cause of celebration across the stars as they paraded the humans through the GC ring world, regardless of the gaunt and tired faces that the ticker tape and confetti fell upon.

The celebration was confirmation that there was yet more to the universe to see! The melancholy that had plagued the races for two hundred years was over! There was yet more life in the galaxy! What humanity learnt in the coming weeks and months, was the reason *why* humanity being found and brought into the fold was so important.

It was because the wider galaxy; had stagnated.

No new ideas were being made. No new technology besides mild improvements of what had already been there. No new fashion, just old things recycled again and again. Not even concepts that were commonplace and obvious to humanity had been even thought about by the wider GC. It was so bad, for so long, there was a statement that confused most humans when they heard it. The galaxy was so stagnant, that not even so much as a new recipe had been discovered in over a hundred years.

So, when humanity appeared, most of the races didn't even *think* of asking them whether they had any new ideas they wanted to share with the galaxy, they assumed that the races had not only thought of everything, but that humanity couldn't have possibly discovered new things on their own.

In the end, it was little things that were slowly added to the combined technology of the Galactic Community.

An 'umbrella' was created on a planet that only ever had rain. A blanket with sleeves in was invented for a long-haul transport trip.

'Unique' and 'inspired'.

So obvious most of the races from the stars merely blinked and wondered how they could have possibly missed such marvellous and simple ideas.

Humanity! The little inventors that *could*!

It was brilliant PR for the little race to buck off the sombre knowledge they were nearly extinct to add their own work into the tapestry of the GC. The heads of state even gave a small speech of how, regardless of whether in a hundred years humanity was still with the GC, their little contributions would mean they were remembered forever!

The console screen snapped off and the remote thrown across the room, hitting a cushion with a solid 'thud'.

"Fucking twats." Growled the human, still glaring at the now blank screen, fuming.

A canid's head popped around the doorframe at the outburst with his ears perked and eyes attentive. The human was facing away, but the tense shoulders and anger in Ted's voice told Kiv that the human needed him. The scent was acidic and figuratively burnt the back of Kiv's snout.

"You okay Teddy?" Asked the canid, quickly washing his hands and running them down the messy grey fur of his thighs to dry them. Padding into the room, the human now had his hands on his hips but was staring at the blank console screen mounted on the wall. From Kiv's perspective, he was like an ursidain; a living mountain. The tight green shirt running along and highlighting the corded muscles of his back, neck and shoulders.

"Teddy?" Asked the canid again, gently. He stepped around the oversized sofa and tapped the tips of two of his claws together, holding his hands in front of his chest as a nervous tick. Kiv was a nervous soul and despite doing nothing to earn the ire of the human, there was still a part of the canid that blamed himself for anything negative in the world around him.

The human turned to face Kiv and the mostly fleshy face broke into a tired smile, easing Kiv's fears.

Kiv was not your average canid. He was an outlier by a large margin. As a canid, he was considered 'disabled' despite being perfectly capable to exist in society without the need for help. But Kiv wasn't considered 'capable' in his own species' eyes.

Kiv was a runt. Incapable of serving the military or even private security in any capacity.

At barely 5'5, the canid had to look up at the 6'3 human who dwarfed him in all ways. Kiv practically had to bend his back and crane his neck just to look his fellow canids in the eyes, saying that they could reach up to 10 feet in height. The human blinked and sighed through his nose before speaking. 

"Sorry Kiv, I got... annoyed at the TV." Replied the human, gesturing with a limp arm and allowing the tension that was in his broad shoulders to melt away with another sigh. The human merely turned to the canid and wrapped his arms around the short, furry alien. Kiv closed his eyes and rumbled into the nap of Teddy's neck, relishing the thick broad arms of the human, holding him in place. The human, without issue of effort, lifted the wiry canid from the floor and flopped down onto the sofa. It had been built for the titan-esque ursidains in mind; the furniture barely noticed both the human and the tiny canid.

Relaxing into Ted's hug, Kiv didn't know what a 'TV' was but could guess that it was the news that had annoyed Ted. It usually was.

"What were they saying?" Kiv asked quietly after a moment of them both laying there.

"Congratulating us poor, helpless humans and how we're doing *super* and that if we die out, that's okay; we invented stuff." Ted replied with a gruff, annoyed tone. It still made Kiv nervous. The mere tone was enough to set him on edge despite Teddy never *once* raising his voice in anger for frustration at the canid.

Kiv's ears laid flat as he gazed up at his human longingly. Kiv never believed he could be a real canid before meeting Ted. Canids each had an instinctual drive to protect and defend others. It mostly meant one's pack, but when Kiv simply wasn't included in a pack, all he wanted was someone who could rely on him, despite being a runt.

Then he had bumped into the mountain of a creature that was Theodore. Ted or 'Teddy' for short. Kiv liked how only *he* was allowed to call the human 'Teddy'. The human had mistaken Kiv for a cub at first, which the canid couldn't blame the human for. But after that crash introduction, the pair of them had become close friends. Kiv had shown the human around the station in a manner not approved of by the administration and the human had met an equal, one that didn't treat him like a lesser being. Kiv had to admit that he had fallen for the human almost instantly in the beginning...

Moving in together had been pragmatic. Sharing each other's bed was merely the natural progression of things, much to the canid's absolute joy. He had never dreamt that he could have had such a wonderful life when he was growing up.

Kiv gently licked the underside of Teddy's chin, pulling the hulking figure out of his thoughts again.

"You don't need their approval. Since when have you needed anyone's?" Asked the canid carefully, pointing out the truth. The human grinned and planted his soft lips against Kiv's leathery nose once. Kiv licked it as a habitual response.

"You are the only one that matters to me. Just annoyed. I feel called out." Replied the human, merely articulating his feelings for the alien.

"Don't! You're a brilliant inventor! Your invention is going to change the stars! Every canid from here to Anul-6 is going to want one! Even if you only sold them for a single credit; you're never going to have to work another day in your life! We could-"

But Kiv stopped himself and laid his muzzle flat against the human's chest, preventing him from spiralling and talking too fast and too much. He had a habit of getting excited then speaking so much that people found it annoying. Kiv didn't want to annoy Teddy...

"Hey! Hey, hey hey..." The human coaxed, aware that the canid was once again silencing himself. The human used his arms to hug and squeeze the canid to get his attention. Ted was aware that Kiv was used to being shut down by others, merely because his opinion was worthless to them thanks to his size. "What was it? 'We could' what?" The human asked calmly.

"You'll laugh." Accused Kiv, nervous and feeling vulnerable.

"Never at you darling. *Never* at you. What could we do if this works?" Promised the human, using his finger and thumb to being the canid's head up and catch his gaze, holding it; silently promising nothing but respect and love.

"We could... get a little plot of land..." Whispered Kiv in a tiny voice.

"Oh? That would be nice... Whereabouts?" Whispered Ted right back.

"...I always liked the looks of the ursidain forestry worlds... They sell little parcels... I... um... That was my dream. To earn enough to buy one..." Mumbled the canid directly into the chest of the human, the insides of his ears turning a bright pinkie red, that had the human grinning from ear to ear.

"Alright then. That's the goal." Ted said with a firm tone and a curt nod.

Kiv's head snapped right back up, nearly clocking the human under the chin with the canid's skull.

"But what about you?" The furry, wolf-like alien demanded.

Teddy snorted.

"Like I had a 'plan'. Until you came along, I didn't have anything, or anyone left to make plans *with*. At least now..." He touched his nose to the canid's muzzle again. Kiv licked again. "I have someone to dote on."

The pair laid there for a time on the sofa, merely enjoying each other with their eyes closed. Eventually Ted sighed and with a single hand, reached out to the coffee table where one of his prototypes laid there. Grasping it, he held it up in one hand and turned it over.

'This is so stupid' Ted thought to himself, only to have Kiv, seemingly read his mind and pipe up.

"They're brilliant you know. I mean it."

"You really think they'll be popular?" The human gave it a squeeze and physically felt the response from Kiv as he laid on the human. The rubberised material deformed in the human's grip and forced the air out of the hollow insides through a squeaker. The high pitch squeal gave one note, then drawled another as air flooded back in once Ted had relaxed his grip.

His eyes flicked to the canid, who despite living with these things now for a few weeks, was still; completely and utter enraptured by the object. His eyes and ears were locked on and as Ted held the toy still, raised above the canid, Kiv could help but lick his chops and begin to shake in anticipation.

Ted broke out into laughed and scooped the canid up into a hug and rolled the alien against the back of the couch as he began peppering the smaller creature with kisses, his foul mood; long forgotten.

[r/WolvensStories]

[Ko-Fi]

[milliesfishes]

hiii i know you don’t write smut but i don’t think this falls under smut? but if it’s uncomfortable to write about please ignore!!

billy with reader who only feels loved when she sexualizes herself and how he would kinda comfort her about that. like maybe he comes home and shes all perfect for him even though deep down shes having a bad day and just wants to cry and he’s just like im not here for any of that stuff im here for you.

꣑ৎ౨ৎbilly when you feel like you have to sexualize yourself꣑ৎ౨ৎ fem reader x billy the kid

Wrung dry from the day's demands, you collapsed into the kitchen chair, fanning a hand over your eyes and taking in a deep breath. The memories of earlier were frozen solid to you like icicles in the winter, and you were trying to melt them, let the water flow through the stream of your mind elsewhere.

To your dismay, it was fruitless.

It felt as though nothing could go right. You woke up an hour later than you had wanted, which had set you back on chores. When you tugged your dress on, there had been a sickening tear that announced a new absence of stitches under your arm. The porch outside that needed sweeping had been littered with cobwebs that caught the bristles of your broom and made you shudder at the texture. And on your way down to the garden you had tripped on a loose board poking from the steps, skinning your knee bloody on the way down.

Holding back tears, you continued and tried to find a silver lining. One of your tomato plants was blooming beautifully, although the rest had been consumed by pests. You had been able to finish your chores, although it was now almost sunset and you'd had to start supper late.

Soup was boiling on the stove, and you hesitantly rose to peer into the pot. Just about done. Billy would be happy to have a hot meal when he came home.

Billy would be home soon. Your eyes widened and you rushed down the hall to the washroom, where a little mirror was positioned over the sink. Looking at your reflection, you nearly cried. The day's events had indeed taken a toll on you. Pinching your cheeks, you reached for your brush and combed it through your messy hair. The tangles pulled at your scalp and you winced slightly, pushing through.

In order to finish your chores in a timely manner you hadn't bothered to swap out your torn dress, and now you debated quickly rifling through your collection to change it. But when the familiar sound of heavy bootsteps on the porch graced your ears, you disregarded it, deciding to keep your arms down.

The door swung open, a creak announcing Billy's arrival. You plastered a sweet smile to your face and took in a deep breath. Be his girl.

Instantly when you saw him some of the tension melted away. He set his hat on the wall hook, unfastening his gun belt and slinging it over the chair by the door. When he saw you, a broad smile lightened his face, and he held his arms out. "There she is."

You ran to him, throwing your arms around his neck and letting him lift you off your feet. It took all but two seconds for you to remember your dress and you winced but moved on. Billy buried his face in your neck, pressing a kiss there that made you giggle. "Been missin' my girl all day."

"I missed you too," you murmured, ignoring the way his gentle touch made you want to cry. There wasn't any way you would dream of telling Billy about your train wreck of a day. Not when he was out risking life and liberty under the watchful eye of the law. Your problems paled in comparison.

The least you could do was give him something nice to come home to. Whether it be kisses or your bare body later.

With that in mind, you pulled back and nudged his nose with yours, making him smile before you caught his lips in a kiss. He obliged eagerly, shifting you so he was holding your thighs up, his hips between them. You pushed down any feelings of negative variety, focusing on the kiss. He needed to feel good. That was your priority.

Billy broke the kiss, giving you a fond look. "It smells good, didja make somethin'?"

Nodding, you kept your smile pressed in place. "It's on the stove."

"Ah!" He set you down, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you into his side, smacking a kiss on your forehead. "You'll turn me into a kept man, darlin'." As he pulled you into the kitchen, you felt as though you were batting away your feelings with a stick. They kept rebounding, but you were able to keep them at bay.

Dinner was a painful affair. If it hadn't been Billy sitting across from you there was a more than likely chance you would have broken into pieces. He chattered about his day, grinning broadly at you through mouthfuls of soup.

Inside you were boiling, about to spill over. The sunset was a brilliant orange through the window, and you stared at it for a moment, getting lost in the stark fall color painted on the cerulean sky. The same blue as his eyes. You breathed in once, frustrated at yourself. Why were you still upset? Billy was home, it was all okay.

Even though you told yourself this over and over, the feeling did not dissipate. And you stayed quiet, nodding at what Billy was saying absentmindedly.

It was only when you realized he had stopped talking that you looked back at him, eyes wide. His brow was knitted, and you chided yourself. You stopped paying attention and now he's worried. He shouldn't have to be worried because of you.

"You okay, angel?" Billy reached for your hand, squeezing the fingers.

"Yes." You nodded, pasting the smile back on. "Yes, I'm fine. Everything is fine."

He didn't look convinced, and you panicked, standing up and going to him. Slotting yourself between his legs, you took his face in your hands and brushed some of his hair back, searching his eyes. Billy gazed up at you, blue eyes showing nothing short of devotion. You internally breathed a sigh of relief. He loved you. He still loved you.

Billy's hands found your waist, and he pulled you down to sit on his thigh, legs tucked primly between his. He watched you for a moment, fingers stroking your sides. You felt a jolt of anxiety, worried that he was worrying.

Leaning in, you kissed him soundly, rubbing his cheek with your thumb. His stubble prickled your skin, and you pressed your chest to his, making him grunt. One of Billy's hands found your lower back, pushing you into him. Your mind calmed just slightly at that; thankful he still wanted you.

Taking his other hand, you used it to cover one of your breasts, lips moving fluently. Billy paused, nuzzling your nose before he dove back in. You shifted on his lap so you were straddling him, your movements methodical. The feeling of dread was mounting in your chest, as if there were a solid mass poking your ribs.

You tried to ignore it. But before you could stop, a choked breath escaped your lips, and you pulled back, chest heaving as your eyes fell to his shoulder. In an instant Billy's hands were on your waist, rubbing carefully. "Sweetheart?"

The tenderness in which he delivered the name sparked tears in your eyes, and you refused to look at him, nodding hastily. "Yes. Yes, everything's fine. I'm fine, I'm-" your breath hitched, and you blinked rapidly, risking a glance at him.

Billy was frowning, eyes brimming with concern. He moved his hands soothingly on your waist. "Baby...what'sa matter?"

"Nothing." You leaned back in and kissed him. His lips nudged yours, but his expression didn't change, eyes not closing. You grew tense with anxiety again, taking his face in your hands and kissing his nose. Then his lips again. Billy remained looking at you.

It wasn't working. You reached for his hand, tried to position it on your breast again, but he lifted it to your face, settling his palm on your cheek. The way he was watching you made you want to crawl into a hole and bury yourself alive. He thumbed your temple, looking at you like you were a code he wanted to break. When he spoke, it was a single word. "Angel." You swallowed, and he continued. "Angel, what'sa matter?"

"You wanted to..." you tried once more to put his hand on your breast. But he shook his head and repositioned it on your face, causing your cheeks to fill with color.

"Not if you're not feelin' good, sweetheart." The way he said it only dug a deeper chasm inside you. Guilt overwhelmed your senses as you figured you had done something wrong.

That was when you broke. The dam all but crumbled, and your cheeks flooded with the tears you'd been wanting to shed all day. You hid your face in your hands, too ashamed to look at him. "I'm f-ine."

He was pulling you in now, hand on your crown carefully guiding your face to his shoulder. Billy held you tight to him, and you broke down, shivering between his arms.

"Shh," he soothed, rocking back and forth. "Deep breaths, honey. Deep breaths. I've gotcha. It's okay." Billy traced shapes into your back, noting when you untensed. "There you go. Atta girl."

You kept your head where it was, almost hiding from him. Against his shirt, your cheeks flushed with humiliation. He was never meant to see you like this. The thought was what made you sit up fully, hurriedly wiping your eyes and avoiding his. "I'm sorry, I'm-"

"'s okay...sweetie..." Billy squeezed your sides gently. "Nothin' to say sorry for. What happened?"

"Just had a bad day." You waved a hand, setting it on his chest alongside your other one. Rubbing him there slightly, you tried to smile. "I'm okay."

"Hey-" Billy's hands framed your cheeks, and you stopped, worried you'd done something wrong. He held you still for a moment, letting the silence fill the air. Then, quietly, "'s okay to have a bad day. You can tell me."

You felt something pinch inside of you, brushing your bones with words you'd never been told before. Billy furthered it, saying, "Baby...you don't have to pretend it's okay."

Now you were stripped bare in front of him, down to the core. Billy smoothed your hair, tucking some behind your ears. Your bottom lip trembled, and he hushed you gently, rubbing your back. "Why don't you go lay down for a minute, hm? And I can clean up here?"

You began to protest, but he shook his head, tilting his head to press a kiss to your temple. "Go get ready for bed, mkay? I'll be along."

Shamefully, you let him stand you up, sending you off with a kiss to your hairline. You tearfully prepared yourself for bed, removing your torn dress and setting it aside for mending, donning a nightdress and getting under the covers, lying on your side and shutting your eyes.

Billy joined you in practically no time, the sounds of him removing his work clothes and setting his boots aside evident. When he pulled the covers back and rested a gentle hand on your hip, you turned into him, nuzzling against his bare chest. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

As he held you, the feeling that you had been shoving at all day began to melt. And when you opened your eyes, he was already looking down at you, face calm as you began to relax. Billy pressed his lips to your hair, sheltering you in his arms. When he spoke, it was softly. "You don't have to worry 'bout bein' okay all the time. Don't want you to be hurtin' so bad 'n feel like you have to hide it." He swiped a thumb over your cheek. "Don't hide it."

You took in a shaky breath, burrowing into his arms. "I just wanna be happy for you. Make you feel good. You have so much to worry about."

"Honey-" Billy braced his hands on your cheeks, searching your eyes. He touched his lips to your nose, making you smile just a little. "Havin' one bad day doesn't make any difference. You're always so happy, my happy girl." He softened when you leaned into his palm. "'m not here to use you, sweetheart. I love you. 'm here for you."

"For me." you repeated it quietly, and he kissed your forehead, nodding.

"For you," he affirmed. "I love everything you give me because it's you."

Something warm was blooming in your heart. You breathed in once, suddenly understanding the magnitude of how much he really loved you. Somehow in all your time with him you'd never realized he was here to stay. A secret voice within had convinced you that it you weren't perfect he would use it to leave.

But Billy wasn't a man who tossed things aside. He'd been running all his life and now he wanted to stand still.

He wanted to stand still with you.

"I love you," he whispered, tucking your head under his chin. And for the first time you realized he wasn't saying it to fill the air.

It was a promise. one never to be broken.

As he brought you close so your ear touched the space over his heart, you felt that promise being fulfilled. You gave him devotion and so he would return it. Was that what love was? Looking up at Billy, you wondered to yourself, amazed at this new discovery.

You felt it in the way he watched you. He said it again, sparking something that felt like springtime in your heart. "I love you."

It soaked your tongue like sugar, a true smile sweeping away the dust your false ones left behind tonight.

"I love you too."

[accio-bagel]

Coming in hot with a Natty appreciation post ❤️

Wall of text below the cut

I love Natty. She's my brave, frustrating, badass girl, and while the writing for her storyline lacked somewhat in comparison to the other companions, much of the discourse I see around her is so negative - it has really been disappointing to see the kinds of things people say about her. She doesn't have to be your favorite. I'm not saying you have to love her. But you can actually prefer Sebastian and Poppy without disparaging Natsai. You can also critique her without resorting to making fun of her voice or accent. Give her a chance and consider her dialogue and her actions, and you might gain some more appreciation for her.

She is a peak Gryffindor and here are some reasons why I love her, including her flaws:

Friendly, kind, and empathetic: with her experience being the new student the previous year, she knows how scary it can be and she's quick to offer you a place to sit on your first day of class, then readily shares her book with you when she sees you don't have one. She even gives you advice during Summoners Court when you're playing against her, and isn't upset if you win. She tells you she was actually planning on asking you to Hogsmeade with her if you choose her as your guide. She wants you to feel welcomed right away and wants to get to know you.

Brave, powerful, and reckless: just like Sebastian, she jumps in to help you fight a troll without a second thought on her first day knowing you, and she's a strong duelist both in Crossed Wands and on your missions with her. She is ready and willing to gather evidence on her own while you go save a host of beasts from poachers the second she finds out a Hippogriff that means something to you is in danger. She sticks her nose into business she shouldn’t and doesn’t consider the reality of the dangers she’s getting herself into (a very Harry Potter trait.) But would you really rather have her be without flaw? Sounds boring. Ultimately she doesn’t ever let fear stop her from acting to protect others - don't forget she dives in front of the Cruciatus curse for you! She's a damn good friend to have by your side.

Proud and confident but can still be humble and open to change: she is happy to share some interesting information about Uagadou if you choose to ask her and she has pride in both her magical abilities and where she came from. She's confident in Summoner's Court but acknowledges afterward that it took her a while to gain that skill. She also admits she likes the drama of using a wand and she's grown to appreciate Hogwarts and Scotland (except in winter, which who can blame her? it's cold!)

Talented: to name just a few examples, she can cast wandless magic, Weasley calls her out as one of the best students in school, and let's not forget she's an animagus by age 15 - we know from the Harry Potter books that is no small feat and very few people actually achieve the ability.

Strong morals and ideals, stubbornly so: she is a pure heart and wants to take down the bad guys so nobody has to suffer the same way she did as a young girl. Can you really begrudge her youthful idealism? While her motivations are a bit muddy because she has no solid personal connection to Harlow or Rookwood, she is ultimately looking at the bigger picture and striving to make the world a better, safer place. Like Sebastian and Poppy, she won't let anyone talk her out of her ideals and remains undeterred in her belief that what she's doing is right, regardless of the dangers involved. While it shouldn't be up to two teenagers to clear out a criminal organization, in the end, she and you actually do get Harlow arrested finally, no thanks to the utterly useless Officer Singer, so Natty kinda had a point.

Loving and emotional: she is emotionally open with you and isn't afraid to ask for support from a friend while she's suffering from grief and guilt about her father. She isn’t embarrassed to tell you that you’ve inspired her to stand up to power, or how much your friendship means to her. Despite her frustrations, she loves her mother deeply, and she misses her father with all her heart.

Rebellious and independent: similar to Garreth, she has a guardian whom she feels is suffocating her. She wants to roam freely in her animagus form and explore her new home on her own, but her mother is worried about her safety (fair) and the closer Professor Onai clings, the more it pushes Natty to act out. She wants to challenge the system which is allowing Rookwood to strut around Hogsmeade like he owns the place when he should be in prison, and takes matters into her own hands when the authorities fail to act. Nothing more punk and badass than fighting the man and getting shit done.

Pretty, cute, tall: really, seriously look at her! Big Brown EyesTM and lashes for days. Freckles! Need I go on? (I will anyway.) Her profile. That cute little curl in the front of her hair, and from the back her hairstyle looks like a flower. I also recently noticed she is slightly taller than the female MC (tall girls need more love in media) and I can imagine them and Poppy being a cute witch trio of different heights. I also think her awkward smiles are endearing.

Lovely, soothing voice: I find her voice to be very soft and personally, I could listen to her talk all day. Her VA, Jessica Hayles, put so much emotion into her lines, and did you know she also voices three other characters: Nellie Oggspire, Charlotte Morrison, and Hyacinth Olivier? I have huge respect for a VA who can do multiple accents and change their voice to be so distinct for each character that I would've had no idea if I hadn't looked it up.

If anyone actually read all of this just know that I appreciate you deeply

[shotanzz]

I think it would be great if you share your thoughts about placements as a post like venus signs, mars signs etc 🫶🏻

SHOSHO’S VENUS SUMMARIES

reminder this is based on my own knowledge/observations of these placements, if it doesn’t completely resonate with you remember other placements, aspects and factors could change how your venus manifests itself and these are meant to be general

Aries Venus: Very affection to your face lovers. There’s emphasis on the effort and excitement of the early stages of initiating relationships which is why it’s said they love the “chase” They’re more impulsive in romance so sometimes they can start/end things VERY quickly or they’re quick when deciding if they’re attracted to/like someone or not. Sometimes if they don’t have placements to stabilize the impulsive energy they can move too fast or expect too much too early. NO aries venus making fun of your crush is NOT the easiest way to express your feelings pls. Enjoys being alone but seethes at couples post. Despite having detached feelings they definitely can be possessive. Need relationships that makes them stop and smell the roses but still feel their autonomy.

Taurus Venus: They love to provide wellness and stability in their relationships. Taurus Venus women are absolutely sweethearts omg they’re such givers and want people they love to be comfortable and taken care of. Taurus Venus being possessive is relatively true but how far they’ll take it depends on other placements/aspects. Taurus Venus is definitely hedonistic, their venus is home at the planet of pleasures. Pretty traditional in relationships (believes in roles, courting, etc) They’re also prone to prefer more steady changing relationships rather than something fast paced and overly intense. They hate when their feelings and relationships are rushed or don’t move at a natural safe pace. Taurus Venus men tend to make very reliable bfs imo unless they have placements that make them stingy/unavailable.

Gemini Venus: Their ideal types, love languages, and what they’re into can change often since they can be easily influenced by information or new things they learn/see about people and relationships. To have them interested you must have them feel intrigued/mentally stimulated. They find intelligence attractive and are the type to be into quirky nerds or people that have wittt humor. They are written off as cheaters since they like variety/versatility but imo they just lose interest quickly if they feel bored or limited, whether they cheat or not is based on their own personhood and other aspects. Their flirt game is super proficient since they have a natural way with words. They tend to crush on people that they admire for their intellect. Their types are almost always never solid unless they have placements that says otherwise.

Cancer Venus: Super sweet and romantic when they don’t have much negative tension from other placements. Similar to Taurus they can be a bit old school or have more traditional relationship ideals. They love emotional intimacy. Very sappy and need a sense of safety within all relationships. They can however get their hearts broken or disappointed because they’ll have high hopes in the people that they date/are interests in but don’t get the energy they give out returned. They can become cold and wall themselves up during times of heartbreak. For cancer venus/mars men their parents/mothers relationship can def impact how they view relationships. If they allow themselves to be vulnerable that’s how you know you got them. Very sentimental and sincere in their relationships and even somewhat emo? I think of beach dates at night when I see them.

Leo Venus: Loves giving/receiving praises and compliments from their crushes, words of affirmation are a big love language trait. Leo venus women have solid standards imo. Wants to brighten up or bring more fun and ease into the lives of people they love, wants to serve a generous purpose to their partners. Very aware of how they feel and whether or not a relationship is satisfying them; they’re also very aware on whether or not their family or friends approve of the person they’re with. Big fans of creative impactful romantic gestures. They can sometimes view their lovers as an extension of themselves and are big on their partners being someone they can have pride in. Ngl their crushes can be celebs that are out of reach 😭. If/when they’re jealous it’s honestly..funny like omg you lost the idgaf war. HATE being embarrassed romantically.

Virgo Venus: So cautious in love but has a big desire to connect to someone. Pretty reliable or purposeful partners. Very big on the idea of pure intentions. Pretty picky or have very particular ideals for their crushes. They are lowkey attracted to people that are out the way or don’t bring too much attention on themselves. Not fond of relationship drama and extras that aren’t practical or of substance/usefulness (similar to cap venus). Gets actual butterflies in their stomach bc their anxieties go straight to their digestive 😭. They almost always have a significant relationship experience, example or idea that they model and develop relationships after. Virgo venus people lowkey have to be careful of someone taking advantage of their want to do good by their partner. Can accidentally self sabotage by their anxieties and idealisms towards relationships.

Libra Venus: Secretly strategic in their love life and pursuits like they PLOT on people. Daydreams about their crush’s face or stares at posts of it. Pretty accommodating in relationships. Needs a sense of reciprocation. Romantic in the ways that you see in the media, like if they could live in a romcom they would. They -love- love and the feeling of admiring someone. Can be very fickle with their interest however. Libra Venus girls who are interested in men DEF love pretty boys. Similar to cancer venus they can also be let down when the energy isn’t matched. Their ideal types are pretty open or versatile but they’re still into attractive/photogenic people (placements can affect this). However they hate a pretty face without a personality or talents. SOOO susceptible to falling into situationships or relationships without solid titles pls BE CAREFULL WITH THAT.

Scorpio Venus: Very intentional lovers. Secretly attracted to the loser bf trope 😭. Has very all or nothing views on relationships. Tries to be in control of how their crush perceives them. Needs honesty and transparency from their partner to function in relationships. Very intuitive partners !!Highly observant of the people they love. Stalks their crushes socials tbh. People think they’re all sexual deviants but tbh no a lot of them are highly protective of their intimacy. Desperately needs someone to match their freak, not sexually !! so hard for them to find someone who wants the same things as them. Some scorpio venus men like being ordered/told what to do . Can be prone/susceptible to relationships that are tumultuous or has extremes and can have a power imbalance within it. Sometimes into people who aren’t obvious in their interest towards them.

Sag Venus: Chronically looking for Mr/Mrs.right 🙂‍↕️. Can’t stand relationships with extreme power imbalances. Let’s their s/o do ANYTHINGGG like genuine favoritism towards their spouses 😭. They try to not allow their feelings to become too complicated. Are actually ok with being single for a while. Attracted to people who are devoted to something whether it is a cause, morals, set of principles, hobby, lifestyle, or religion. Also people with diff backgrounds, cultures and povs. Very comfortable in their sexuality also a lot of sag venus people are…fruity LOL. Hard for them to be mad at their lovers for a long time I’ve noticed ? SOMETIMES they can be hypocritical in relationships 😭. Very generous lovers both the men and women. If not interested in foreigners they’re very into people who have major experience within life that can teach them something.

Capricorn Venus: Why are we the love police like actually LMFAOO. Sacrificial and willing to endure for the people they adore. A part of us dies of embarrassment when disappointed with the people we like. Secretly geeks out abt whoever’s caught their eye in the confines of their room. Hyper realistic when it comes to love ideals. HATEs the dramatics, extras and games. Tries so hard to balance their goals with a love life. Likes people who are self sufficient. Similar to scorpio with all or nothing thinking in relationships. Will phase out of existence when the feelings get too complicated. No guys we can’t plan/imagine the future everytime we are in love with someone. Swear there’s always age difference stuff happening. You can tell how much a cap venus likes you by how much they’re willing to share/give you of anything that’s theirs. Silent pining.

Aqua Venus: Relatively unorthodox lovers. Goated at the friends to lovers trope (honestly anything to lovers). Covert hopeless romantics. Needs a relationship balance where they have time and space to themselves. Quietly protective over their spouses. Never dates or is attracted to the same type of person everytime, there’s always something distinct about them. Secretly strict lovers, yes do as you please but don’t disappoint them. Manages to know you better than anyone else. Also needs someone to match their freak. Studies the person they like so they can be an efficient partner. Hey so like no it’s not normal that everything gives you the ick. They love deep talks or someone who’s observant. Dislikes when a relationship moves too fast. Aqua venus men either hate hookup culture or loves it no in between.

Pisces Venus: If they could build a partner from scratch they would 😭. Highly accepting of their partners flaws despite that however. Loves and acknowledges even the smallest most little detail about their partners. Extremely forgiving TOO forgiving almost. Living proof that true adornment can exist. Needs to be careful of confusing admiration with romantic feelings. Can also allow themselves to be single for a pretty long time. Admires their crushes from afar. Also plots on the people they like. Will defend their s/o to the endddd of the earth if need be. Love language depends on the day, time, hour, and what song they recently listened to. Quietly goes insane when in love but tries to be chill about it (they fail). Don’t think I forgot you it’s not normal that anything can give you the ick either pisces venus !

[fairykazu]

SPECIFIC LOVE LANG FT. SCARAMOUCHE AND THOMA mlist . tags: @ainnofinway

SCARAMOUCHE: helping his partner with their homework.

you and scaramouche, your boyfriend, were in the library seated near the sci-fi section in the archives. it's his auntie's library.

nahida was a very sweet lady and allowed you to even eat in her library. god bless her.

the purple haired male had a very much different work ethic than you do

he was straightforward to the point, his side of the table had stacks upon stacks of books. he always kept his gpa higher than a 3. you, on the other hand, had a good gpa but you struggle in certain topics that scaramouche exceeds at.

you were stuck on this question for like hours while scaramouche seemed to speed through the questions with no problem.

"psss, scaramouche," you whispered, poking his shoulder. but no prevail since scaramouche was surrounded by books piled on books. should you try to knock down his book wall right now? nah, making too loud noises for auntie nahida would hurt you.

hearing his chair being adjusted as scaramouche plucked out the buds out of his ears, music softly playing out of device. "yes?"

"can you please help me on number 21 on assignment 60 from mr. cyrus?"

without missing a beat, he replied back, "ok." as he broke down his walls of books, the physical wall between you two disappeared, grabbing an extra paper. "so, for this equation, you have to use the quadratic formula, x equals to negative b plus or minus square root of b squared subtract 4ac divided by 2a." glancing back to you, he noticed that you're spacing out. "hey."

snapping his fingers, your eyes jolt back awake. he was leaning on one of his hands while you groggily wake up from your day dream. he asked, "are you listening?"

frantically trying to separate reality and dreams from each other, you blurted, "um... yep!" despite the both of you knowing that you were lying, scaramouche knew how to get back at you.

"repeat back what i just said."

ok, mr. cyrus.... math equation. formulas? something with quadratics and the moment scaramouche's soothing voice started to say "x", you were in snoozing land. again, without thinking it through, you replied quickly with "a math equation!"

he chuckled, either at you or at himself, "okay, if you pay attention this time, i'll buy you boba."

he said the magic word, "boba." as if your mind activated your thinking gears, getting free boba plus scaramouche paying equals to boba date with scaramouche. "yes, sir! anything you want me to heed your orders, sir." you joked as scaramouche rolled his eyes.

"alright, solider, it's time to listen."

"yes sir!"

THOMA: making your partner their favorite meal.

it was a long day after you and your boyfriend had finished your finals

but history with ms xianyun was terrible not to mention your partners for the class sucked just as equally

itto kept being off task and xiangling was occupied writing other things

and xianyun grades brutally

thoma opened the door of your shared apartment as you were complaining about your recent final in ms xianyun's class.“im so glad that she curves her tests. if she didn’t, i’d be over.” walking to the couch, immediately, you slumped into it, digging your face into the pillow.

thoma patted your legs, in which you moved them aside and making room for your boyfriend, sitting upright. thoma glanced at you, noticing your sour mood and knowing you well enough to know you need the meal to make you feel better. "thomaa." dragging out the syllables of his name. "it's so joever for me."

he tried to comfort you, "if you email ms xianyun about the group, i think it would just decrease their grades."

"you're right...." you looked at his face as it's making the "aren't i always." "okay, thoma."

he chuckled, “would it make you feel better if i made [fav food]?” your eyes lit up in an instant, following thoma into the kitchen

[jbird-the-manwich]

I was talkin to a friend about covid yesterday and like... I haven't seen a lot about it lately but talking about it got me thinking about how absolutely fucked up and freaky, in hindsight, my last bout of covid was, like... if you've not had it/been asymptomatic, I love that for you, but like... seriously. do still be doing the masking if you can, avoid crowded places with poor ventilation as you're able, try to keep a handle on not letting strangers breathe directly on you, etc. I got the shit last year, before thanksgiving, KEPT it till this spring, (long covid) and it fucking sucks.

Like. It SUCKS. it SCARY sucks. I had nausea, chest pain, tachycardia, extreme weakness and fatigue... like... I had OG-covid, back in 2020, and another couple bouts in the years since then, but that last one? that particular Covid was not fucking playing with me.

That shit tried to kill me. I had a fever so high I was having delirium. I didn't experience any weird horniness, like in the meme, personally, but I did have weird SCARY neurological symptoms, I was so nauseated I wanted to die, the fever (which was recurrent, and intermittent, at 104f, for *months* off an on) had me acting fucking weird, I'd get nauseus, then super aggressive and fighty, had episodes of extreme confusion, not being able to remember simple words and phrases, (I don't mean standard adhd either I mean I could barely talk coherently at times, when I wasnt fucking losing my shit rambling about nonsense) random crying spells, tremors, inability to stay awake, It affected my memory, my ability to walk, and still affects my basic levels of strength and ability to do shit.

for real the shit is serious. I went to the hospital and my tachycardia was so bad the nurse pulled my sister aside (who is not authorized to receive any information, btw) and told her not to let me leave the hospital because they thought I was going to have a heart attack. Cuz my heart rate was so fucked from the fever. I was fucking holding on to walls and shit, could barely walk, I was taking phenergan so consistently it straight up stopped working, and I'm negative, now, but like... I lost 20 lbs by the end of it. No shit. from 151 to 129. and I'm still not entirely better.

I'm still having memory issues, I barely remember the last year aside from bits and pieces, and the fatigue is fucking unreal. like. I was *stout*, pre-covid, and had a pretty solid vocabulary, and now I feel like half my brain is missing. my energy levels are on the upswing, but that's taken months, and I'm still not half as strong as I was before I got that last round last year, so like... I know not a lot of people are masking, and very few people are still talking about it, out and about, but like... seriously. it is real. It is fucking debilitating. it can affect your goddamn brain.

Do try to avoid getting that shit. I would not recommend it. As diseases go? It's a total bitch. wear a mask if you can. I was a *very* fit, quite strong 30-something, built like a brick shit house, and I lost almost *all* of my muscle mass, and it feels like I got *extremely fucking dumber*. I had projects I was working on, and I don't remember how they were supposed to go together. in the span of less than a year, cuz fuckin covid set up in my (vaccinated) body and was like "oh, I think I'll stay". So yeah. not a hot news topic, right now, anymore, but... for real. It is still there, and it will fuuuuuuuuuck your whole shit up. I am *still* having to have blood panels run, pretty much every doctor I see is just like. "huh. Well that's... pretty shitty..." And I mean im very lucky. I'm alive and mostly undamaged, barring a couple things, but yeah. It is for real still a thing and will totally wreck a whole ass year, if it takes a mind to, so... try to avoid it, where you can. Get vaccinated, if you're not, wear a mask, if able, and don't listen to the people that aren't taking your safety into consideration in their rationale for not taking it seriously as a potentially debilitating disease, particularly if you have any kind of pre-existing risk factors, including previous covid infections. I don't wanna scare anybody but like... the shit is real and it will lay you low, is, I guess, is the point I'm trying to make.

[disturbedbeautywrites]

Surprise - JJ Maybank Imagine

Warnings: Accidental pregnancy, cursing, Luke being a dick, mention of vomiting. That's it, I think

"JJ, why in the hell is there a pregnancy test on my bathroom sink?" The words had left Luke's lips less than a minute ago and all the oxygen felt like it was sucked out of the Maybank household. "Did you knock up some random girl?"

You hadn't known Luke was home when you went into the bathroom to take the pregnancy test. JJ had told you he didn't think his dad would be home today because he was supposed to be at work and the two of you wouldn't be very long; twenty minutes tops. JJ needed to do some miniscule repairing to the motorcycle and you were going to lay down because you weren't feeling good.

Nausea, cramping, bloating. The trifecta of symptoms had been hitting you the last three days and you felt incredibly sick. You had talked to Kie and Sarah about it, them jokingly saying you must be pregnant. You had all three laughed it off, but it sat in the back of your mind.

You and JJ had sex quite a lot and you were as safe as you could be, but the thought haunted you. You had decided to just ease your mind and grab a test to see, your intuition telling you it would be negative. You had to sneak it into your pocket after you sneakily paid for it, knowing you had to take it as soon as possible.

Therefore, you took it when you got to his house as he was outside. You sat the three minutes, waiting until it showed up as positive and you felt yourself vomiting into the toilet. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't. There was no way.

You shakily got up as you heard walking in the house, assuming it was your boyfriend, and you meant to throw the test away. However, you were now realizing you didn't actually follow through with that.

At Luke's words, JJ's eyes went wide and he got up out of the bed from where he had been cuddling you. He was in complete shock, his eyes darting from you to the hallway where his dad was standing. He saw the test in his hands and took it, his eyes landing on the result as he tried to figure out why you hadn't told him.

But, as he stood there and thought for a second, everything started to fall into place. He slowly walked back into his room, his eyes full of tears. He wasn't sure if it was from shock or fear or both, but his lip was trembling and he was slightly shaky. "Y-you're pregnant?" You could barely meet his eyes as you nodded, shaky breath coming out before you met his gaze. "Y-yeah, J. I am.." You stood up and ran a hand through your hair as you heard Luke chuckle, watching the two of you from the door frame.

"How can she even be sure it's yours? She might be messing around with the whole island, son. You can't take them at their word." Anger flashed through JJ's eyes as he saw how the words affected you, your legs carrying you out the front door and towards the road. JJ pushed Luke against the wall, pointing a solid finger at his face. "I'll deal with you later. But, if you ever talk about her like that again I will personally kill you." The words came out through gritted teeth as he ran after you, staying a few paces behind as he heard you break out into sobs.

It absolutely broke his heart as he walked up behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist. "Hey, listen to me." His voice was soft and comforting as he held you close, knowing how bad his dad's words had affected you. He had been dating you for a year and this was the first time he had ever seen you cry like this. "He's an idiot, you know that." He pressed a soft kiss to the skin that was exposed between your shoulder and your neck, his nose pressing against that area.

"I-I'm scared. We're not ready." The sobs racked your body as JJ carefully spun you around to face him, his eyes just as scared as yours. But, for now he had to be strong for you. Sure, he had to be a father. But, you had a living being growing in your stomach. He figured he would give you this time to be shocked and he would be strong for you. "We'll figure it out, if you wanna keep it.." His voice was soft as he pulled you flush against his chest, his hand rubbing up and down your spinal cord.

"I-I do... I think.. I mean.. I don't really know.." Your normally warm and bright eyes were absolutely full of terror and JJ absolutely hated seeing it. It broke him and he hated that he was partially to blame for this. "You don't have to decide right now, princess. Let's just go relax and try to figure out what we're going to do."

"Y-you're not gonna leave me..?" Your words came out in a soft and sheer panic as JJ realized that was what you were the most worried about. "No, baby. I'm here for you and our nugget, no matter what happens. I'm not going anywhere."

[merotwst]

IN DOCTOR'S OFFICE LIGHTING, I DIDN'T TELL YOU I WAS SCARED —- angst

‹. scarabia & pomefiore ›

. bulleted hcs

⇝you're very sick. how do they deal with it?

¬ tw: established relationship ; reader implied to be hosptally ridden type of ill ; hospitals, medicine etc. ; mentions of death but reader doesn't actually die in the fic ; lots of sadness ; dont read if ure uncomfy this is sad and i understand it's not for everyone ; open ended

۵ not proofread. we die like the dumb little bitches we are.

kalim al-asim ‹ scarabia ›

. when he first found out you were ill, his whole world stopped.

. how? why? what happened?

. were you two just not planning your future together on his bed one night just a few weeks ago? why are you here now on a hospital bed hooked up to things he didn't know what the names of were?

. all the questions swirled around his head but he would never ask them out loud.

. instead he would ask you different questions.

. “what do you feel like eating today? i'll order something!”, “what do you wanna watch together?”, “can i cuddle you tonight before i leave?”

. kalim never faltered in front of you. he was so excited to hear all about it when you come back from treatment, enthusiastically saying things like, “you look better already!” even if you know damn well you aren't but it's so sweet.

. he's always there on your bedside whenever he can be. always brings you something he thinks you'll love.

. hell, this man would bring in the best doctors just for you so please, please get better soon, kalim would do anything.

. every opportunity you have to get some time out of the hospital, he'll be there ready and planning a trip for the both of you (with doctor's approval, of course).

. he'll buy you anything you ask (or dont ask) for. because he believes you deserve everything. he wants you happy despite the cards you're dealt with and he will do everything in his power to do that.

. he's happiest whe he gets to take you out of the hospital for a while. if you can't find the opportunity to leave and he can't visit, you can expect lots of gifts and flowers sent to you and of course—jamil's cooking.

. he's so positive and hopeful and that just gives you strength. you'll never see him cry out of sadness. you'll never hear him say any negative thing even if it seems hopeless in your mind. he's your light at the end of the tunnel. he'll shine as bright as he can to light your path.

. you'll get better. you'll live a long, happy life with him. and even if he sometimes clutches his pillows at night and sobs silently onto his pillows after his latest visits to you, he knows you'll fight with him.

. and that's all he needs to know to wake up the next day with a new resolve to see you and cheer you on. he'll cheer you on till the sky falls and oceans dry and all he asks for you in return is to get better soon.

jamil viper ‹ scarabia ›

. the first thing this man says when he hears your diagnosis is “alright, let's get to work, ya hayati.”

. such a solid resolve. when you're breaking down, he's there. when you need anything, he'll do it for you. he doesn't leave your side and he understands that it's difficult and scary but the way he reassures you with such certainty makes you believe that it's only a matter of time before you're out.

. unlike kalim, he doesn't coddle you, but he's not harsh. he doesn't want to treat you differently because you're sick. he knows you're strong so he treats you just like he always has.

. of course, as stated earlier, if you ever needed comfort he's right there.

. you're one of the few things he'd leave kalim's side for. sure his schedule is busy, but everything else be damned he'll always, always make it a point to see you at least once a day.

. bringing food to you, singing to you—all the things he never did for others he did it on your bedside within the confines of these four walls in their sickening shade of white.

. he appears resilient, but jamil is only human.

. he wasn't given much growing up that he didn't need to share. one thing he had found that he felt he could truly call his... was you.

. and he would be lying of he said he wasn't scared. jamil was terrified deep down.

. but he hides it well with the lunchboxes he makes you and the way he squeezes your hands when you're asleep and the way he sneakily kisses you goodnight before he leaves you.

. you. the one thing the didn't think he would lose was at risk of disappearing from his life.

. he would come home with an ache in his heart. he's scared one day all he'd have left of you are some of your things in his drawers, photographs and memories of the happiest days of his life.

. and he'd sit down and stare at empty space, his mind cursing at the world for making him go through all this. for letting him have a taste of his own little freedom in your arms only to try and yank it back from him.

. but he wasn't going to let go. and he knows neither would you.

. and after those silent moments of anger, frustration and fear... he'd relax. and he'd smile because he remembers you're still here.

. then he'd get up and think of the next thing you'd want to eat again tomorrow, knowing and deep down, silently praying you'd still be on your bed with a warm smile and welcoming him back into your arms.

. his very own form of freedom.

vil schoenheit ‹ pomefiore ›

. just like jamil, he's not one to change the way he treats you whenever he hears the news.

. i feel like he may be more strict than jamil, though.

. after all, vil has a routine he's been following for years now. and as someone who's battling and recovering from an illness, he expects you to give it your 100% whenever possible.

. he knows it's difficult, but he also doesn't want to lose you.

. if ever sometimes you get frustrated or want to give up, you can rely on vil to get your sights straight again.

. although sometimes he'll come off as a bit harsh, please understand that he's just scared of losing you.

. he knows you can overcome this and he'll be there every step of the way to make sure you do.

. and of course, he rewards your hard work :3

. every milestone on your journey gets a prize. whether it be you enduring mildly tiring physical exercises or getting an operation for something—vil always makes sure to get you something nice.

. new clothes you'd like, things that you enjoy, food, sometimes even signed vynils from your favorite artists.

. sometimes, if you're lucky, something vil made himself. a meal, clothes he made for you personally etc.

. he'll tell you how proud he is and how beautiful you look despite everything.

. and then he gets soft and holds you close.

. and in the rare occason he gets to stay overnight beside you, you'll wake up in dead of night when he thinks you're asleep.

. there's soft sobs and his arms wrap around you a little tighter.

. and it's your turn to reassure him. because he's just as terrified as you are.

. and eventually for a few moments, it gets better knowing that you'll get better.

rook hunt ‹ pomefiore ›

. he's crushed. he's absolutely heartbroken.

. his beloved? his darling? the most beautiful person he's known to exist in his eyes... is suffering.

. he's going to talk to you. and explain that it hurts him to see you like this but he will never abandon you.

. every moment of every second, rook is there to hold your hand and kiss you and remind you of the many reasons to keep fighting.

. the gifts, the constant presence in your life, the words of affirmation—bros never leaving your side and that's a fact.

. and sure, he's a little dramatic at times, but that's just how he is. he never makes you feel bad, never makes you sad despite everything.

. even though it's hard for both of you, he never complained. sometimes he gets dramatic and curses the fates or something, but he never makes you feel bad about it.

. he never misses any moment with you. rook hunt is the definition of dedication and perseverance when it comes to your healing.

. he does so much and sometimes, you wake up after a long, comfortable sleep and you just see him beside your bed.

. he will never say it out lout and will never let it show but... you know he's tired, too.

. so for a few moments, you just let him rest. you squeeze his hand gently as he sleeps and you see just the faintest of smiles appear on his face.

. he's awake and you know it. but you humor him and let him have an excuse to let you hold his hand as he 'sleeps'.

. maybe when he wakes up again, you might be better, who knows?

. too good to be true? not for rook who genuinely believes that at any time, the doctors will come in to announce you're fully healed.

. but until that happens, he'll enjoy the feeling of your still warm hand in his and try to go back to sleep.

epel felmier ‹ pomefiore ›

. 'don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...'

. he mentally chanted to himself as tears streaked down his face when he heard the news.

. for all the tough guy act he likes to put out most of the time, he can't help but be soft when it comes to you.

. you didn't view him as anything but as the guy you fell in love with.

. not a pretty face, not a guy trying hard to come out as more manly (as much as he hated to admit it, so many other students saw him as exactly this), not some country kid with a weird accent whenever he gets mad or excited.

. you saw him as epel. your epel.

. and now your epel was a sobbing mess in front of you. he hates that he's crying, but this only shows how much he cares about you.

. you spend the first night exchanging reassurances and little promises with each other while hugging each other tight.

. while you were gettng your treatment, you've pretty much just about tried every single type of food and beverage that can be produced with the use of apples.

. boxes would come to your hospital room from his family and it's become a running joke between you whenever another box arrived.

. “an apple a day...”

. followed by little giggles you'd both share as he peeled one of them for you.

. epel didn't bring you over the top extravagant gifts, but he would visit you everyday and tell you all the fun things that happened and how he can't wait to experience them with you again.

. epel would cry. he'd cry at times when it feels low. and he'd cry when things started to look up.

. epel would tell you how scared he is of losing you. but he'd also tell you that he knows how hard you're fighting and how much he hopes to see you again outside the suffocating white walls of your hospital room.

. to see you under the summer sun, sitting on one of the branches of the apple trees in his hometown, laughing with your bare feet swinging while calling out his name.

. he'd have dreams like this sometimes and he'd wake up with tears in his eyes.

. he tries his best not to take it as a grim reminder—but a beacon of hope. a vision of what could be in the future.

. and with that in mind, he sleeps a little better. hanging onto dreams like this and praying they become something that would manifest in reality sooner rather than later.

•

© merotwst 2023 | do not reproduce, steal or translate

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking my spouse to open up our relationship?

Tl;dr: He said no years ago but our sex life is non-existent and I'm climbing the walls.

Full story:

Me (early 30s, NB) and my partner (late 30s, M) have been together for over a decade. We have a kid, a mortgage and enough interests in common to keep each other entertained. He's a genuinely good person and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. BUT.

We met before I hit 20, and he was my first ever serious relationship. Our sex life tanked about two years in, but we both had other things going on, and over time I blamed many different factors: living conditions, shift work, my weight gain, health issues, differences in upbringing, levels of queerness - you name it. In the last few years I helped him through a serious medical condition (think two surgeries and a long recovery), but once he was nominally in the clear my mental health went down the drain and I haven't really been back to normal since.

For a while, I had a really good counsellor and for once got to talk about some of the less savoury shit going on in my noggin. It all ended up on a Realisation that we only had sex while sober on a laughably small number of occasions, and any and all attempts on my part to spice things up ended at best with affectionately confounded denial or just a straight up brick wall. I got sober a few years before he did (I'm talking 'uh oh maybe we're having too many too often' rather than 'out of control alcoholism'), which effectively ended our sex life altogether. At this point I'm looking at a solid year since my husband last touched me, and even then it was after he came home from a pub in a silly mood so neither of us ended up getting much out of it. And it's not even the longest stretch.

I floated this as an issue a number of times, and every time he agreed it's something to work on then did precisely zilch. I told him point blank once that I wouldn't be opposed to an open relationship, but he was vehemently against, because that's the first step to a break up in his mind. I suggested he might be ace (there are several clues to that, not just my increasingly unhinged internet history), bought the book as a way to start a discussion - he put it on a shelf and never looked at it again.

After my Big Bad Breakdown earlier this year we ended up in family counselling. It quickly became clear that there are so many things he just Didn't Consider that the sex thing didn't even get mentioned, then we ran out of slots and he hasn't followed up on any of his revelations from the sessions, so I feel like digging in is a lost cause.

I love him, don't want to leave him and quite frankly couldn't even if I did because the UK is a financial ruin. I also have some extremely unfulfilled needs, and can't even rub one out in peace because he finds it weird (???). Even if I didn't find cheating morally Too Far it sounds exhausting and I already have too much going on. I haven't been the easiest person to be around for the last few months, but this has been a years-long issue. So, WBITA to start the conversation on the open relationship again, despite the negative feedback I had previously?

(If it helps, we both have different flavours of neurodivergence, although mine is under treatment and his largely ignored.)

What are these acronyms?

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2024 Day 2

Your Fave Relationship

There was not really another option in my mind when I read the prompt for day 2. The world doesn't have enough of bantering Scandinavian guitarists so that's what I'm offering today.

Specifically, I wanted to focus on the enigmatic of their relationship, because they're a couple of weirdos. That I love, of course.

When Skwisgaar walked into the kitchen, he found his own face staring back at him, in the form of a mug. Toki usually had his morning coffee in the skull-shaped mug that had his likeness, this was nothing new. And it certainly was nothing Skwisgaar had to point out. Toki wanted to be him, but who didn’t, really? 

He also did an astounding negative effort to become nothing like Skwisgaar. Not in the parts that mattered, anyway.

“You knows it ams records kings deys todays, rights?” Skwisgaar said, in lieu of a greeting. “Can’ts keeps sayingks you wills practiske laters nows.”

“Oh, shuts up, Skwisgaar.” Toki rolled his eyes with disinterest. He took another and empty eye sockets glared at Skwisgaar. “You don’ts scares me.”

“Yous playingks ams whats scaries.” Skwisgaar blurted with a smirk.

Toki said nothing, but gripped his mug so tightly that the veins on his hands became noticeable. Skwisgaar never really understood why he did that sometimes. 

“Euh…sees you later at the studios…” He awkwardly said, in the manner of a farewell.

–

Skwisgaar watched Toki play the chords he wrote for him in the wrong succession for the upteempth time. “Wrongs!” He yelled, walking up to him. “It ams twos, twos, fours and thens twos agains! How manies times I gotsa tells you this?”

“Dats whats I dones!” Toki defended himself. “I dids two fours and thens-”

“Twos and twos first!” Skwisgaar dragged his hands across his face with exasperation. It had been so long trying to get Toki to record his track that the other three just left to eat. Skwisgaar was angry, starving and most of all in disbelief over Toki’s stupidity. It’s like he got dumber over time. “You know whats? Gives to me de guitar, I does it.”

“Noes!” Toki protectively holding onto his Flying V. “I wants to plays!”

“Toos late ams gonna does it nows!”

“Noes!”

“I wills!” Skwisgaar grabbed onto the lower body of the guitar.

“You cants!” Toki grabbed the neck instead and they started struggling over the instrument. 

“Eugh, just lets goes, Toki!” Skwisgaar said with frustration, pulling from one end of the guitar. 

“You lets goes!” Toki replied, pulling from the other.

“You cants even plays!”

“It ams mine guitars!”

“Whats I can plays betters?!” 

Suddenly, there was a flash and Skwisgaar felt his face impact against solid flesh. It took him a few seconds to realize that Toki had punched him, and in turn he gave him a slap across the face. Soon enough, the attention stopped being on the guitar and on each other instead. The instrument was even propelled to the ground at some point and neither of them reacted to it, too focused on their fight.

When Toki shoved Skwisgaar against the amp wall, he took a false step and fell, but not without bringing Toki down with him. On the floor, the fight resumed, punches and kicks being delivered from both sides. While Skwisgaar had a good time stretching Toki’s cheeks, Toki, the little dildo, dug his fingers into Skwisgaar’s nose. 

“Eughh!!” Skwisgaar yelled and rolled over so he could regain control. Toki, however, was as bad with guitar as he was strong and he pinned Skwisgaar down, looking obnoxiously smug about it. 

And Skwisgaar was not about to have that so he stuck his own digits in Toki’s mouth, wiping that stupid smile off his face. Because Toki was a bit like an animal sometimes, he started chomping down, trying to bite Skwisgaar’s fingers. He narrowly avoided it, though when Toki’s tongue grazed one of his thumbs, Skwisgaar instinctively looked up.

And, even though it was far from being their first rodeo, something felt a little different. Or maybe it was that without the scowl, Skwisgaar’s fingers on Toki’s mouth had another connotation. 

Before he could even begin to think of anything else, he felt a yank coming from his scalp. It took him a few moments to realize that it was Toki pulling from his hair, forcing him to raise his face.

Their eyes met, both of them gasping from the physical effort and Skwisgaar couldn’t help noticing the flush on Toki’s cheeks. Experimentally, rather than pulling his fingers out, he shoved them deeper which made Toki grimace. A harder hair yank followed, and Skwisgaar groaned.

Toki’s eyes widened and Skwisgaar tried to feign dignity, though he was pretty sure his cheeks were betraying him. Finally, it occurred to him that having Toki on top of him wasn’t exactly helping his situation. Trying to move, however, caused the opposite effect as the motion made him grind his hips against Toki’s backside. In turn, Toki continued the friction by spreading his legs to the sides, locking Skwisgaar in his place. But Skwisgaar didn’t like being told what to do, so he lifted his upper body in an attempt to sit up, only for Toki to lean in to force him to back down. 

Stupid Toki, no matter how short the distance between them was becoming, he wasn’t going to just give up. Just because Toki didn’t care about personal space, didn’t mean he was just going to let him win. Just because their faces were so close that he could feel Toki’s breath on him, didn’t mean Skwisgaar was going to let him do what he wanted…

The door suddenly slammed open. “Whet are you two dooshbegs doin’?” Pickles asked, drinking a piña colada from a straw. 

Panicking, they unwrapped from each other and stood up, not really sure how to answer that themselves.

“Skwisgaar ams dildos.” Toki said first, clearing his throat.

“You ams dildos.” Skwisgaar countered, still looking down.

Pickles loudly slurped, more interested in his drink than what they had to say. “Okey, just don’t forget to eat or whatever.” He said and then walked away whistling.

When they were alone again, Skwisgaar side-eyed Toki. “Eugh…does you wants to goes shootingks de guns lators?”

After a moment, Toki shrugged. “Ja, okays. Whatevers.”

“Okeis.” Skwisgaar leaned down to pick the guitar.

“And dens we watch de movies I tells you de other days.” Toki added. 

“Shores.” Skwisgaar said absent-mindedly, staring at the dent at the bottom of the guitar.

“Skwisgaar?”

“Ja?” He turned to Toki.

“I hates you.”

Skwisgaar smirked. “I knows dat.” Toki was heading out when he talked again. “I hates you too.”

“Goods.” Toki didn’t even look back but Skwisgaar knew he was content.

Because he was, too. 

[devirnis]

Okay, after having a few days to process, I am allowing myself one vent post to get it out of my system and then it’s back to ✨positive vibes✨ only

If I see one more goddamn smarmy post about how “the writing was on the wall the whole time” (with the undercurrent of “you were too stupid to see it, I have the only valid interpretation”) I’m going to lose it

Had we not had 8x05, the breakup still would have bummed me out, but I would have said, you know what, fair, we didn’t see a whole lot of their relationship, a lot of it was fanon and headcanons. We had a good run. But we did get 8x05, apparently some of it filmed out of order knowing a breakup was coming, and what was the point? To be cruel? It felt like a slap in the face to people who liked that relationship.

They could have laid some groundwork to show some cracks in the relationship, but no. Ignoring disingenuous interpretations from people who have been rooting for the ship to crash and burn since day one, 8x05 established Buck & Tommy as a solid couple. Tommy gets along with Eddie, the three of them had great chemistry together. Tommy takes care of Buck when he’s hurt. Tommy thinks the curse is a bunch of bs (as does Eddie) but still went with Buck to have a funeral for a mummy. It’s like I watched someone cook an elaborate, delicious dinner for me and then they immediately threw it in the trash, and other people around me made fun of me for being blindsided and upset because I should have seen that coming.

I won’t pretend the general audience is a monolith who all have the same opinions. I’m sure there are people who don’t care and just shrugged their shoulders that another relationship of Buck’s fizzled out. But I have 2 friends who watch the show and aren’t Fandom Fans, and they are always my barometer for how people who don’t have brain rot (affectionate) feel about the show. One really liked the relationship, the other was neutral to mildly negative on it, and both of them agreed that it felt like the breakup came out of nowhere and made no sense given the context of the previous episode. So please stop pretending that it’s only BT fandom fans who have their knickers in a twist about how it played out.

If this isn’t leading to buddie, then I don’t want to see another love interest for either Buck or Eddie for the rest of the show. Tommy had so much potential to break the cycle of Buck’s love interests (and interviews from last season seem to support that they were aware of this and planning on utilizing that) and throwing it away feels like such a waste.

So yeah, instead of being just bummed, I’m pissed. I do not know if there was BTS drama or if Tim got some other grand idea for Buck’s storyline this season — but given how plots are adopted and dropped at rapid fire pace this season (something I was willing to forgive last season because of the shortened production timeline and fewer episodes), I’m highly skeptical that there’s any sort of overarching plan here.

I’ve never thought buddie would actually happen on the show, but I also never thought either Buck or Eddie would ever be anything other than straight, so I’d be happy to be proven wrong. I’m just a little jaded by seeing people doing a victory lap convinced that buddie canon is imminent when I think that they are giving the writers a lot more credit than they deserve for supposedly crafting this epic love story for the last five or so years when a lot of that is also just generous fanon interpretation. I need explicit confirmation within the show by the end of this season that at least one of them has caught feelings or I’m over entertaining the possibility it will actually happen.

I know the joy will come back. But I really hope the same plot lines playing out ad nauseam for every character stops because I’m getting a little tired.

[starzblvd]

Hang on to Your Love

Feelings kept secret can’t stay a secret forever when other people get in the way. Fem!reader Jealous!Ellie Jackson!Ellie hint of loser!ellie purefluff CW!creep ass man makes a short appearance 5k W.C AN; Originally this was going to be a short cute story but I really wanted to give with this one, because I LOVE fall. Really sorry for being gone so long, I got a bad haircut and I swear some negative energy was clinging onto me, so it made me insane for a bit. I move on so I’m better and thriving again now though💕

Autumn was in its early days still beginning to settle into Jackson, the cooler evenings accompanied by the refreshing winds that brushed over your skin. The perfect season for a dance to be sprung onto. Flyers hung around town, you’d seen it was set outside at 7:00 a little while after the sun set four days from now. It wasn’t necessary for you to arrive with a partner for the dance, but if given the chance you already knew the perfect candidate to fill the position in mind.

Initially you wouldn’t take her to come around to these sort of events. Come to change, a few days earlier you’d coincidentally happen to over hear Ellie’s conversation with Jesse and Dina outside the Tipsy Bison. Heavy reminiscence on her last comment about the Autumn dance,

“Just because she’d be there, it won’t change anything, not interested in going. Most we’ve talked is a few passing ‘hey’s’.”

It was disheartening to hear her talk about some girl you didn’t know,

Small pieces of her life that you were able to get a glimpse of, made being around her all the less intimidating. How enamored the high skies of space Ellie was, the type of video games she’d bring back, or even the clothes she dressed in. There wasn’t much to go off of when you’ve hurt to have a complete conversation with Ellie.

Regardless Ellie was right even if it wasn’t about you, most spoken words between you weren’t much nor meaningful. If it was anyone besides Ellie you wouldn’t be mulling over so long if you should bite the bullet and ask her out. To you she was everything you’d wished for, having feelings this intense was nauseatingly tiresome. With each day that flew away sleeping on the idea of taking action to get to know Ellie, felt like opportunity slipping away just as time is. You couldn’t expect her to stay single for long, she’s dated previously what’s stopping her now?

”You and Ellie are partners this time round, good with that?”

Maria thought it’d be good to group you with a girl that knew what she was doing while doing it exceptionally well. Expect you’d hate to be such a crutch to Ellie because of the delayed training you missed out on, of sheer fear that stemmed from being sheltered too long.

”yeah, no problem.”

There wasn’t anything to have a problem with if you’d just excuse your need for Ellie. Up to this point she didn’t completely disregard your existence, small occurrences like holding out the door open made you believe she’d think of you in the slightest, enough to be polite to.

The thought of spending time with Ellie alone even with the circumstances outside of Jackson’s security was exciting to look forward to. Preselecting topics and materials to make small talk with, patrol isn’t an ideal time to get to know someone better but you’ll take what you can get in these circumstances.

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

Brightly in a red marker ink circle enclosed the date of the patrol date with Ellie on the calendar pinned above your nightstand, marked day being today. Dressing up particularly cute wouldn’t do good in terms of practicality, but you had other reasons for dressing so. You weren’t naive of the terrors waiting, lurking, outside of Jackson’s walls just as anyone else was. Your choice of outfit for today were bootcut jeans with ribbons shaped into dainty bows tied to the belt loops. A ribbed long sleeved top in a solid color of brown, the bottom of the sleeves were flared out while the rest of the shirt stayed close in a snug fit.

Maybe you had arrived earlier than settled on, surely, because Ellie was starting to become a no show. Perked up right besides the stables doorframe, facing towards the inside, counting the minutes go by. Dina’s distant voice broke the fluid count of time you’d been mentally ticking by. Anyone would’ve been able to tell she was being so quiet intentionally with her hushed tone while speaking to someone else. You weren’t meant to hear her nor the words of advice she was aiding, but you couldn’t help being a standby could you?

“She’s been waiting for you in there for a while now! Seriously, you can’t stall any longer without being suspicious.” Dina knew exactly what this was about, Ellie’s whole unwillingness to go out on patrol with you was painfully obviously.

“I know I know, but I just need a bit longer and I’ll get right to-“ hearing the detest Ellie was expressing felt disappointing in a way that made your heart ache.

“No, Ellie. Go over there already, standing over here isn’t going to change anything.”

Ellie’s sigh was louder than their entire conversation. Then the words you were hearing so clearly became tedious whispers that had you leaning closer to decipher, with no luck as to knowing which one was speaking.

They couldn’t possibly know you were listening in, right?

Calm anticipation couldn’t overcome the hurdle of sudden nervousness when footsteps became closer. Thing was, you knew Ellie’s footsteps and the approaching steps didn’t belong to her. You’d turned back to face outside though not to Ellie, but to Dina’s consoling face.

”Ellie’s caught something and she’s stuck sick at home right now,”

it was all crap, every single word. Seeming so against you that she couldn’t stand having to go on patrol with you, Ellie lied about sickness as a get a way. Standing there silently to question every short moment you’ve encountered her, trying to recount if you did or said something wrong to ward her off so strongly.

“Oh well, that’s okay. Tell her I said to get better soon.”

You didn’t mean the condolence, the small smile you responded Dina with didn’t help in hiding that fact. Especially not when Ellie was probably snug inside by now spending her new found time freely, relived of being able to opt out so suddenly. This was by far the most embarrassing stand up you’ve been able to experience, as much as you didn’t want to be affected by her flakiness it irked you just as much if not more in efforts of trying to shrug it off.

Dina nodded and excused herself first, at least she was aware how childish Ellie was handling the situation. At times like these it was so easy to be jealous of Dina, how close her bond with Ellie was. Being able to spend time with Ellie by watching movies or just having her as company were few of those reasons. Though you were never mad at her for it. More so at yourself for letting your feelings keep you from making any move.

When Dina was out of view from where you stood, you followed out feeling defeated. The marked calendar felt like such a foolish thing to do, how excited you became when you could tick off another day, getting closer to the patrol.

It was debatable if the walk back home to the mess that was an outcome of frantically scrambling to figure out your outfit, or waiting so excited like a hopeless lovesick fool was more embarrassing. Had you kept to your own business you would’ve been able to cope in ignorant bliss, unaware of Ellie’s determination to avoid you. Crushing any unfortunate leaf that happened to be in your way on the ground with heavy steps was the best you could do to express how upset this made you.

Of course she had no obligation to happily spend her time with you, but the extent of Ellie’s actions was doing more than enough to prove her dislike. Reflecting just on today, it was evident you’d have to settle for a new dance partner.

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

Ellie groaned into her pillow when she heard extensive loud knocking, already knowing who it was and why it was for. You were right about Ellie being snug inside, leisurely painting on the floor beside the short coffee table, using the time she was meant to be with you to practice a hobby.

If it was possible, Ellie would have prolonged opening the door to her garage room to escape Dina going off on her. She rubbed her eyes using her thumb and index finger, this was punishment for not dealing with you today, rather she’d have to deal with Dina’s confrontational lecture. Right upon unlocking the door Dina began,

“Seriously Ellie, what’s gotten into you.” She’d allowed herself inside, taking her designated spot on the couch. Looking down onto the table, there sprawled out next to different paints in jars and a messy paint pallet was a painting Ellie was spending careful time to finish. It looked more detailed than any of her previous paintings, paint strokes still wet from recent application creating the girl on the canvas.

“Hey I dodged a bullet by doing that, I wouldn’t have been able to put in all my concentration,” now it was Ellie’s turn to be embarrassed.

Her skills were truly ones to be boasted about, but faltered the moment she was stuck partnered on patrol with a pretty girl. The girl she’s kept her eyes on from the first day of her arrival.

Of course Ellie made a distinct entry that day, made sure to not leave any detail out about your appearance or the way you’d greet others that day, including her. Describing just how sweet everything about you was, so sweet it distracted from what you told her, she’d failed to listen to the first words between you two.

Now it was acting all tough until the moment Ellie’s emotions become overwhelming, clouding both her judgment and competence. She knew exactly what she felt, but tried with everything to disregard it all because of the fear that rejection would hurt much more sourly than never confessing at all.

”Don’t start now, she looked hurt when I broke it to her that you’d called out sick.”

“Maybe she was looking forward to exploring around or something-“

“No Ellie, she was excited to see you.”

The sheer question if you looked at her back with the same feelings sent Ellie over the edge. She kicked up her foot, cracking the knuckles of her fingers one by one. How much time has passed and your relationship with Ellie hasn’t progressed at all? She’d be lucky to even call it a relationship, small talk was a hard thing since the first years of you being in Jackson.

”yeah well, you don’t know that for sure.”

Ellie slumped her back onto the bed looking up at the wooden ceiling, the position she should’ve been if she was truly sick. Dina couldn’t bother to deal with Ellie’s stubbornness when the topic was you specifically. Because she knew Ellie was almost helpless when it came to you.

Exhausted from the topic of you by how much denial and stubbornness it’d be met with, Dina propped herself up from the couch before looking over at Ellie, spitefully replying to her small attitude,

“Oh I think I know, at least come by the dance go say hi.”

Upon Dina walking out and shutting the door Ellie kept her spot, the stunt she just pulled probably set her way back in means of getting more familiar with you. Letting out a low groan again, it was hard to decide to show up. Seeing you would only have her ridden with guilt. Ellie didn’t know to believe Dina’s beliefs or not. She was hopeful, but failed to be certain.

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚

Staring straight forward into your own reflection in the vanity was where your mind couldn’t rest on the long debate that was if going to the dance was still a good idea. Held up in knots going over each pro and con there could’ve possibly been, you’d already spent the time perfecting the look for tonight. Only to feel hesitant, and it was all Ellie’s fault. The few days after the incident, it was completely insufferable to face or hear any news about Ellie. Each time it would only make the feelings of embarrassment mixed with bitter defeat resurface.

“She shouldn’t be showing up anyways.”

Is what got you to settle on going out with the prerogative to have a little fun, determined to not let your crushed feelings take away from a good time. After all the wait for the dance it would be a spoil of time to stay in.

Because the party was outside people were more sprawled out, making it harder to see every single person attending. High hanging warm lights were strung from building to building in a zigzag pattern, they illuminated the incoming night that was creeping up. A table took space in the middle in front of everything, each spot of the table being covered with some sort of food or drink, leaned up on it’s ledges was Jesse and Dina talking to Joel.

Joel looked rough on the exterior with the way he would carry himself, but truly was a kind type at heart. You’d only gotten a few chances to chat with him, a little less than with Ellie. He’d only remind you of Ellie with how close they are, so you set it in your mind to clearly stay away from all three of them for the rest of the night.

A few speakers were synced together playing Sades Hang on to your love, just standing there cemented lost and doe eyed would do you no good. Staying home inside the comfort of your room would have been preferable, thinking maybe it would’ve looked a bit awkward to dance alone. Maybe you could ask one of the girls there you were friends with, amidst the cloud of thought a man invitingly lent out a hand. You’d seen him around a few times, wearing dark navy jeans and a black sueded cowboy hat, you accepted thinking you had nothing to lose.

In heaven’s name, why are you walking away?

Dancing with him was purely for fun, no strings attached to you, but for him, his eyes spoke that he was in it for something. Letting his hands cling to the sleeves of your shirt, his touch was a little irritating. Already starting to regret your choice to agree to dance, more specifically with a man. You tried to disregard the slight discomfort and continued to move along with his moves to at least entertain yourself by dancing. By now, the man’s hands on your arms begun steering you right to the center of the dance floor, which essentially was just an open dirt plot right in-front a certain table.

Hang on to your love

In a few footsteps he’d successfully made it close to unbearable for you to dance along now that you’ve made it to the prime viewing spot for everyone in the surrounding crowd. Uncomfortable with both his handling and everyones eyes set on the show he was making out of this. Of course in that crowd she had to be stood against there to that table, in those jeans that were starting to scuff from continued wear and fading flannel. Using quick stolen glimpses to catch the sight of Ellie when he’d spun you round.

In heaven’s name, why do you plays these games?

It was becoming increasingly difficult to hide how distressed you were. Urgently wanting to escape only to bolt it back to your home. You were heating up because you knew by now, Ellie had been staring directly at you, visibly displaying exactly how unhappy she was with the situation. Crossed arms and legs, eyebrows dipping into a slight angry arch. Ellie was whispering something over to her right hand man, Jesse.

“Out of everyone here, why are they dance partners? It’s not like they know each other.”

“And you know that how?”

Ellie’s appearance at the dance was meant to solely be a quick passing, is what she swore to herself at least. Getting caught up in being witness to whatever you were found doing with that man had sidetracked her. Ellie knew from his stares he had intentions outside of having fun, nothing could be lead to coincidence with him especially. Ellie was aware of his reputation of going through plenty of women in short periods of time, immediately latching onto someone new after the last.

“Doesn’t matter, either way I can’t stop her.”

“How about getting over there and steal her back, or are you still hung up?”

Take your time if the going gets rough

The grip he had on you got tighter, he tried pressing his body further to yours by making a his hand placement lower to your hips. Every move he continued to act on making you all the more irritated. None of this is what you wanted, and Ellie’s stare only added fuel to fire. She didn’t want to go out on patrol together with you the previous day, why is she out of all people dishing out the judgmental looks?

so if you want it to get stronger you’d better no let go

“Your guess is as good as mine, I just can’t, be near her like that.”

For every thing Ellie wished she could do and say, is another longing stare of hers that graced you. Blaming the fear to approach you on the nausea effect that didn’t budge no matter what you tended to have on her.

“you’re not getting anywhere staring all crazy at her.”

Eventually the man had noticed how absent minded from the situation you were in, with your eyes glued straight past him clasped in his arms. Speaking up for the first time, some sparse voice pulled you back into the moment.

“Who’s got you distracted huh?”

hold tight, don’t fight

“Nothing, I was just zoning out a bit.”

He didn’t buy it, he reclined his torso back and away, allowing for an easier spin on his heel to see who had you so entranced just now.

”Oh come on not that dyke that came from wherever with her old man.”

Instantly he let go away, recoiling away immediately. His face had contorted into a disgusted expression directed at the both of you, Ellie for knowing and being Ellie and you for simply looking at Ellie.

“Men can’t get no breaks in this world.” A thick mouthful of saliva was spat onto the dirt next to your feet leaving from the center having you deserted there alone. A few surrounding people looked shocked looked at what had unraveled there while others looked away.

Hang on to your love

Ellie stayed put in her same spot, deciding it was better now or never to take your chances. Possessing feelings that felt too similar to love, only to hush and silence them away each night wasn’t getting any easier. Ellie’s eyes darted away the moment she saw you beginning to walk right over to her.

in heaven’s name, why are you walking away?

”Why didn’t you show up to patrol with me that day? I know you weren’t sick so don’t even use that excuse.”

Confrontation wasn’t your usual way of dealing with things, but the time spent conflicted as to feel about Ellie wore on you. One day you were swearing there was a chance for things to be mutual, only to change your mind the next.

“I don’t know where you’re getting at because I was sick.” To Ellie it was clear now that you heard everything she told Dina outside the stable.

“I heard you outside whispering you know, honestly Ellie what do you have against me?”

“Nothing! Look I did ask for her to cover for me, but it’s only cause I had something to do at home.” She slid her thumbs to hang out from the front pockets changing her stance to loosen.

”what we’re you so busy with?” You didn’t mean to come off as stern as you did, from then on Ellie started to sound less confident with each word that would come out her mouth.

”Something back in my room, it’s noth-“

“Let’s go see it then.”

Right then you start walking straight to her room, picking up your pace when Ellie called out your name behind you. You knew where she stayed at, catching her with Dina and Jesse walking in and out of the small shed that sat off to the left of the main house on a few occasions. Initially she didn’t believe you were serious, so she waited a while longer before starting to walk as well. Ellie caught up quickly but you were faster, sprinting closer to the door illuminated by the hanging light besides it.

Once you’d got ahold of the doorknob it easily opened to your luck, it was typical in Jackson to leave doors open because how people trusted one another as a community. Immediately you slammed the door shut upon putting two steps inside to Ellie’s room. With a quick click it had been locked to make sure she stayed out while you got to the bottom of this.

On the other side Ellie banged on the door with her whole palm repeatedly,

“Hey get the hell out!”

“I’m trying to see what was so important you had to ditch me and not tell me anything about it.”

”I’m sorry okay? I promise next time I won’t run out on you like that.”

She was basically pleading by now aware that you had the upper hand, you had every power to leisurely look through her whole life that was stored in her room. Standing there felt childish now that you’d caught your breath leaving you time to reflect what happened and what you did. Ellie ran over to the side of the shed to where the windows were, she put her hands up to the glass scanning the room for you,

“if you let me in now I’ll show you, I swear.”

She sounded sincere in her soft tone, rummaging Ellies room wouldn’t be right regardless how upset you were so you nodded and unlocked the door for her. Moving aside to give her space to walk in. Mumbling getting through she spoke again,

“Let me go grab it, it’s over by the coffee table.”

Now that everything calmed you could properly look around to see how Ellie’s room looked. The type of posters hung from the walls, above an unmade bed a cork board pinned photos of her friends and drawings adorned it. It was a little confusing why Ellie wasn’t mad or screaming for you to get out. It was pretty quiet in the small room, only a small faint strain of music from the party was keeping it from dead silence. The air was thick, closing in on the both of you.

“I would’ve showed you it if you asked without having to lock me out you know.” Ellie was still turned away from you, holding onto a medium sized board that she picked up from the rug. A few paintbrushes were drying on a towel next to the glass jar of murky grey water.

“No you wouldn’t,” lightheartedly you laughed trying to ease your nerves that arose from being alone with her away from anyone else.

“yeah,” returning a small laugh she turned to you, time felt slow in this moment as if everything itself was prolonged outside the rules of time with Ellie’s footsteps slowly approaching. Her laughter alleviated some of the tension the air carried.

Ellie didn’t say anything at first, she let you see what turned out to be canvas with you painted sitting down reading a book, propping your head up with your left arm on your knee with the book tucked into your lap. Never would have you guessed Ellie taken long enough to look at you long enough to get the amount of details she’d painted so perfectly. That’s exactly what you’d describe the painting her hands created, perfect.

“Ellie..” Lost in the soft colors that were painted into you, you were for certain on how you felt about Ellie.

With lack of response she was quick to defensively speak up, “You just looked like a good reference, I wasn’t trying to be creepy or anything-“

“it’s beautiful,”

You were unsure what to say or even do, Ellie stood there looking back at you under your jurisdiction continuing to wait on you. She’d hate to admit what she was so scared about your reaction or rejection, because it was only then that the feelings would sink to only decay inside the pit of her stomach to linger. “Thanks,” Ellie’s composure was gone, visible by how nervous her smile looked. Considering how she took the effort to paint you, it was time to do something that had been long overdue. Putting down the painting to lean on itself against the wall freeing your hands, you find them a new place on Ellie’s shoulders. Slightly towering above you with her height, being able to see her up close in such a tender hold felt like a sweet of blessing.

”When I saw you for the first time I knew it was going to be you, and it has been since then.”

Ellie’s eyebrows cinched together in confusion unaware of the weight your words held.

”it’s been only you, nobody else has ever came close, because I like you the most.”

Ellies lips gapped open ready to let out to spill her unspoken words upon fully processing what you meant. She had wished to tell you that accumulated over time, except they only came out in silence.

Hearing your confession to her, was her own sweetest blessing. Instead of staying silent any longer Ellie let her actions talk for her, plunging right into a kiss. The muscles in her lips kneaded at your own desperately like to makeup for every kiss that was missed in the time that you could’ve spent together before today. Each passing day she could’ve only yearned to feel you as intimately as tonight. This was felt in the way she was making out with you now.

Leaning further into the kisses to savor the taste and smell you carried, and sure enough you were the same way, pushing further into her too. A strand of hair slipping out from the ear Ellie tucked behind tickled the side of your face.

Gasping for air after the both of you’d succumb to shortness of breath. Ellie’s lips were a softer shade of pink from the circulating blood by how much pressure she had used to press onto your lips. Before you could Interject again she plunged back into you, this time her trembling hands cupping the plush of your cheeks, which then stabilized themselves on you. you didn’t resist Ellie’s lips, rather you moved at the same rate. Her left hands fingertips slightly callused by the guitar Joel had gifted. Each kiss was passionate, becoming more sloppier and quicker paced than the last one.

Nothing else mattered here against the warmth that radiated from Ellie, her pulsing heartbeat was felt by your own chest. Through flesh and bone, you could’ve sworn your hearts could feel the love you both shared for each other. You knew perfectly in your mind that this was meant to be, and Ellie had loved you ever since you fell too.

Ellie gently pulled away to whisper in that hoarse soft voice, “This better than dancing with him?”

She sounded so tantalizing, having you in her hands all to herself. No one would ever be able to have you the way Ellie did, and for that she felt prouder than ever. The doubt for any connection that could’ve been there in the days and years prior to today, was overcast by Ellie’s pure bliss right now.

You smiled while pressing foreheads together, letting the air from Ellie’s breathing fall onto your face. Chests falling up and down in a few seconds of quietness before replying, “Better than you could ever know.”

“Oh I think I do know,” squeezing you tighter followed smaller frantic kisses below your eyes, between your eyebrows, and cheek. You reflected her actions onto each bronze or dark brown freckle Ellie had scattered across her face.

Finishing, Ellie pulled you to walk to her bed by her hands connected behind your neck, bringing you down top of her on the spring mattress. Cheeks lifting up to reveal smile lines that you managed to bring out so easily. You held yourself up by your forearms with Ellie sandwiched in between. A warm lit lamp and the small slips of light from the dance in the distance outside were the only forms of light source in the room. Night had casted over the sky, and the moon coating the world below in moonlight. Once a few seconds passed of enjoying the others presence by staring at each and every feature as to memorize them forever like a keepsake, Ellie cleared her throat to speak up.

”I want to be with you, properly this time I mean,” Ellie gazed right into your eyes endearingly beneath you. Her proper confession was in a form of a question you’ve been waiting on so eagerly for so long.

“I’d love that.”

Placing a small peck right on the tip of her nose, you laid down on her, letting your head fall to her heart. This moment would be the mark of something new, a new chapter in your lives. Not another person or soul could take this away from either of you, love continuing to grow deeper into your hearts.